Kawaii_massu
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It was two weeks ago when Yunho proposed to have a vacation only the two of us and I had agreed and asked him to have one in Jeju Island, and here we are now, in the largest and the most luxurious room at one of the famous resorts at Jeju island, far from our hectic schedules of live performances, fan-signing events, variety shows and also away from the dazzling light of celebrity world that always following our steps wherever we go.
For all day we had been visiting every interesting place in Jeju Island that I had been visiting once when I was filming for Paradise Ranch, and I feel very happy, because this time, there are no other actresses and actors, no filming crew and no drama script to be memorized. The place is only ours to explore together: Me and the person that I love the most.
As now, I'm watching the sun that almost setting at the horizon from the balcony and enjoying the streaks of red mixed with purple and orange while Yunho is showering. The sight is really beautiful and the wind caresses my face softly, causing me to close my eyes and enjoying the shiver caused by the breeze that running through all of my body. I feel so content as if every feeling and emotion is forming beautifully, and for the first time after so many nights of restless sleep and nightmares, I feel so calm and peacefulness possesses my heart so easily.
I feel a smile grazing my lips at the thought of Yunho, my almost six years-lover. He had prepared this vacation very well, and I appreciated all of his efforts to make this trip possible for us. From the days off and the accommodation, all of this was his doing. He did the jobs for a week in advance. He even took a few of my jobs as well. He thought I didn't notice that, but I do. I know that he was planning this to cheer me up and I know that he was always worrying about me. Well, I admit that recently was a hard time for me. I fell ill and got stressed because of the problems that we encountered post the lawsuit that Jaejoong, Yoochun and Junsu filed to the company.
I cannot sleep, cannot eat and causing my health to drop very easy and my weight decreased one after another kilogram every day. Yunho warned me about my weight all the times and tried to coax me to eat in possible ways he could think of and he even threatened me that he won't eat too if I didn't. It worked, but still the amount of food that I stuffed to my stomach was so little compare to my usual portion. I really didn't have any appetite at all, but I forced myself to for Yunho, so that he won't be worried about me too often.
Yunho cared for me that much that I don't know how to retaliate to his feeling. Thus, I'm willing to make up to him for this.
From this moment, even just a little I want to show him that I'm so happy and glad to have him in my life, that I'm so grateful for the love that he showered me everyday, and I'm going to make this a moment to remember: A moment that will always be ours and a moment that we could spend together just to be in love with each other away from any trouble and problem.
I hear the water stopped running from the bathroom and I know Yunho must have finished his shower, but that doesn't budge me. I stand still, knowing that Yunho won't go anywhere and he will be there with a smile on those lips that I love to kiss the most.
As in cue, I feel strong arms enclose themselves around my waist and a familiar chest presses so intimately to my back. I smile contently and lean my head back to Yunho's broad shoulder automatically. My body relaxed itself to Yunho's embrace as if it longs for it and craves for it. The smells of soap and shampoo hit my nasal passage and freshly generate from Yunho's enticing skin, and I still can feel the remains of water that still running on his naked chest. It's rather cold, but it doesn't matter. I love the proximity between our two bodies that always left me seeking for his warmth. I pull my hands up to rest on his and surrender to his embrace completely as the heat of Yunho's body warms my heart as well.
"Care to share what you have been thinking minutes ago?" Yunho's low and tender voice reverberates through my ear, and then pair of lips presses a kiss lightly on my shoulder.
I sigh softly. "You..." I answer without hesitation.
"Me? You were thinking about me?" He asks again and I could sense a smile in his voice even without seeing his face.
"Yes, you... I've been thinking a lot about you, about today, about the past days, and about everything."
"And what exactly that you were thinking about those things that you mentioned, love? Let me know everything." He says encouragingly and it reminds me on how strong I could be when I was with this man who holds me like I am the precious thing alive in his world.
I take a deep breath and prepare myself for the answer that I know would take so much for the both of us. "I was thinking about us, Jaejoong-hyung, Yoochun-hyung and Junsu-hyung. It was only yesterday when we stumbled together at the backstage of our concert in Tokyo Dome, cried together and proudly holding each other's hands because we had done the best performance that we could present to our fans. But now, it feels as if it was only a dream, only a fake memory that actually never existed. I don't realize since when everything had become so far away, since when did our dream lose its hope, for all I know the thing between the two of us and them turned to be so complicated."
"I felt so helpless, because all I can do was only watching. The family that we had built on the name of brotherhood and friendship began to crumble; when the warm embrace and gentle touch turned to be so cold and even when soft words filled with love and affection changed in the form of heated arguments and also the needs to hurt each other became such urgency with no compromise; I witnessed all of it. Dong Bang Shin Ki fell apart, but I can't do anything. I can't even say any word. Even when our tiny apartment became so spacious and empty, all I could do was hiding even though there was no place to hide. I couldn't face it and drowned myself deeper in my sorrow. I couldn't even look at you. I can't be such a support that I knew you needed the most when you were the one to be left to recollect the last remain of our group. It broke my heart when you took all the blame for yourself, but I can't get myself to come to you and be the one who kissed away your pain."
Yunho pulls away slightly only to turn my body so that he could look straightly to my face. A smile that I knew was there on his face a second ago has disappeared, changed by slight worry and concern that he could barely hide.
"Changmin, I brought us here and planning this vacation for us to relax, to give us some time to enjoy ourselves, not for this. I've seen you sad enough. We've been through that together, and it's all in the past. We have our new journey now, and I don't want to see you cry anymore."
For a brief moment I can't take my eyes of him. He is so beautiful when the color of red sky shimmering and reflected a perfect glow on his features.
"Changchang..."
I chuckle of hearing his petname for me and then I lean forward to peck his lips. "I know... Please don't say anything more. I know what you want to say and you've said it enough for me to understand that you did that just because of your love, not only for our beloved Dong Bang Shin Ki, but also for me. I get that, and this time is my turn to say everything that I need to say to you; those things that I never said to you." I whisper and my lips are purposely an inch away from his. He groans seemingly understand what I wanted him to do. Fireworks blooms and my thought is dancing as I feel his lips on mine, kissing me tenderly. I can't remember how many times Yunho had kissed me today, but I don't care. I would never get bored no matter how many times he does. It feels never enough and I can't help to crave for his kisses again and again.
"I love you, Yunho." I say as we pull away from our kiss. My voice is steady and full of promises. Yunho startles from my confession and I take that moment to kiss him again, this time on his forehead, down to his nose, both sides of his cheek, and a final and special one on his lips.
"I want to thank you. Really, I appreciate everything that you have done for me, for us. All this time, I have always been a burden for you. You always took such a good care of me and I feel I don't thank you enough, I don't appreciate you enough. Even after all the trouble that I've put you through, you're still here with me." I take a deep breath and that's when Yunho's scent fills my nostril and warms my entire being. It gives me a great strength to carry on and I clutch to Yunho as if my life depends on him. And it does. "Seriously Yunho... I feel so useless. You did so many things for me yet I can't do only a simple thing like taking care of my self—"
"Baby..."
"No, let me finish, Yunho-yah." I close my eyes again, sighing. Yunho runs his hand on my back, rubbing soothingly before settling themselves on my waist. "I might not perfect. As a bandmate, as a friend, as a lover, there still so many things that are lacking in me. But for you, I want to be better. I want to try the best I can so that you can rely on me, so that I can be your strength just like you became mine."
"But you are," Yunho interrupts. "You are my love, you are my strength and you are everything that I could ever want, love. You don't have to prove anything to me and obviously you don't need to try to do anything. I know you have tried your hardest and it's enough."
"Yunnie..." I groan desperately because he just doesn't understand me, just doesn't get what I wanted. He's just so stubborn that I—
"Changchang..." He pouts as he looks at me with his best puppy eyes.
"..."
"..."
He keeps pouting and I try my best to look serious so that he will back to listen to me nice and obediently, but it doesn't work. I can never win to that adorable pout of his. Moreover, his eyes crinkle mischievously and I just can't help myself but to burst in laughter. I punch his chest weakly and he laughs too, eyes going in a shape of crescent moon to accompany my own mismatched ones.
In only matter of minute, Yunho has lifted my mood. He makes me warm again and I feel those heavy weight that burdened my heart disappears into thin air. I can't believe just how great Yunho's laughter affects me. It makes me smile, and happiness seems to creep by itself inside of me in endless wave through my veins and spreads to my whole body, sparks like electricity that running until the tip of my toes.
At the next minute, we spend the time only to stare into each other's eyes. Laughter has died for a while now, but the warm feeling is still there and heavy in the air. Yunho takes my hand and laces our fingers together while the other hand finds its way to hug my shoulder and brings my body closer to his.
I take a deep breath and rest my head on Yunho's shoulder while other hand that is free from Yunho's hold sneaks to clutch on Yunho's shirt.
I hears Yunho sighing and his warm breath tickles my neck. I try not to shiver because of it but my traitorous body doesn't want to listen to me and just gives up and melts deeper into Yunho's embrace.
"Changchang-ah..." Yunho's voice is so close to my ear and I purr because it feels too good.
"Hmm?"
"You were being silly earlier, don't you know that?" I smile and Yunho continues, "I don't need you to change or even try your best for me. If you want to, do it for yourself because you need it more than me need you to. For me, my Changmin that is in my embrace now is the Changmin that I love the most. The one whose smile can make me happy, the one whose touch is so gentle and soft. I yearn for you not because of what you did for me..." Yunho gives a little distance to our bodies and smiles when I look up to see him in the eyes. "... I love you because of this." He presses his palm on my chest, to where my heart which is currently beating so fast for him. "I love you because you are you... my cute and naïve Changchang, my strong and independent yet so fragile and easy to cry Changmin. You're already a person that I could ever dream to be in my life. And about me taking care of you, it is what I'm supposed to do because I have planned to make you mine for a long time. I do it for my self, because I can't afford to lose you. It will make me die if I have to watch you slip away from my love."
"I—"
Yunho presses his lips on mine to stop me from saying things any further.
"Shhh... I only need you to promise me one thing." He says huskily when we broke apart.
"Anything..."
"Promise me that you will love me and be mine forever."
I chuckles nervously to his words, but it makes tears brimming my eyes so fast that I can't help myself but cry in happiness. It's just too great and I feel myself will explode because of this amazing feeling that flooding my heart.
"You don't have to ask for it, because I am already yours and never did I ever think to go away from you. You're everything and I love you until the last beat of my heart."
Yunho sees my tears but he only smiles. Instead of thumbing the tears away from my face, he lifts my hand and kisses the palm. "I worship you," he declares.
He goes up to kiss my cheeks. "We're friends."
A kiss on my neck, "We belong together."
Another kiss to my forehead, "You're mine."
And the final kiss is tenderly planted on my lips along with a whisper of words that he utters against my lips like an eternal promise that I know will be carved forever inside my heart.
"I love you."
Yunho kisses me long and sweetly then. He holds me tight and lifts my body up so I could sit comfortably against the railing while our lips locked and harmonizes in every movement. Our kiss never stops, and lips keep searching the others even though the daylight has gone out to be replaced by the silver moonlight that makes our skin glows through the darkness, we never part. Even though the air that caresses our skin has become so cold, but the touch of our hands to each other's body never ceased and it warms us to no ends.
It keeps going on and continues even after Yunho lifts me again and leads us to our own bed where only in minutes, two bodies, passion and love united as one as he makes love to me over and over again that night.
In this room, there are only the two of us.
In this moment, we are not the members of the famous Korean boyband, TVXQ. We are only two ordinary men who have dreams and wishes. We are two people who love each other and hope that our love would last until the last breath leaves our bodies.
Simply, we are Shim Changmin and Jung Yunho.
Or just Changchang and his Yunnie.
