|•|Princess Kenny's|•|
D, Butters and I arrive back at Kupa keep where Cartman begins talking. Apparently the Bard is the current holder of the stick. Well Fuck.
Before heading out the wizard says he wants to teach D another spell. Well he said Douchebag but ya. This time Eric calls Scott over and D farts on him. Huh, wonder why he didn't fart on me? Once they are done, Cartman gathers everyone up once again.
We then head out to the giggling donkey where the Bard is apparently staying.
"There it is, The inn of the Giggling Donkey. You sure that's where the Bard is hiding out?" The wizard asks paladin Butters.
"That's what Twitter says!"
"Carrier Raven Butters!"
"Oh s-sorry sorry! That's what the carrier raven says!"
"Alright , Craig and token guard the back door. Princess Kenny, Butters, Sir Douchebag and Let's go inside." The wizard says gesturing for us to follow him inside. When we enter some turn and look at us.
"Stay close Sir Douchebag, the Inn of the Giggling Donkey harbors all the scum of Zaron."
"A glass of Meedle wine please." The grand wizard asks.
"No Meedle wine today only Fairy ale." The bartender replies.
" A Pint of Fairy ale then."
"So uh, has anyone seen the Bard lately?" Once those words come out of Cartman's mouth everyone turns an glares at us. Luckily Cartman is able to cover by continuing with "A pint of fairy ale isn't much without some bardic poems and songs."
Most of the coustomers don't seem to buy it but luckily the bartender does. "Sure he's here alright. He's got a room down in the Cellar."
"Ah then I shall pay handsomely for his services. Sir Douchebag." Cartman says throwing some money on the counter as he walks away. We follow behind him towards a door that leads to the cellar.
"Butters Sir Douchebag, you go down there and flush him out. Me and Princess Kenny will be waiting up here to murder him. Remember the Bard can use magical songs of enchantment, don't let him get to you."
'Douchebag' or D as me and Butters are now calling him, simply blinks and turns and walks down the stairs to the cellar with Butters following close behind.
I turn and face Cartman. "Hey Grand wizard, don't you think Sir Douche bag is a bit of a long name? Why not something like, oh I don't know , Sir D?" I suggest trying to give some bull shit explanation so Eric doesn't question me.
"Huh? D? What kind of name is tha- PRINCESS KENNY LOOK OUT!"
"Wha- Ah fuck." The last thing I see is a fist to the face before everything goes black.
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]Dovahkiin/Douchbag/D's POV[
Ok so it took about 5 minutes just for the Bard to say "Magical songs of enchantments" and then we didn't even fight him just some regular old elves who were getting buffs from the bard's singing.
Now he's run off, and locked us down here with some more elves we'll have to fight. Oh ya and this whole thing was a trap too. The wizard King and Princess Kenny got kidnapped.
"*Tap Tap Tap* Hey! Sir Douchebag! Up here!" I hear a sorta familiar voice say. I look up to see Craig in the window. I pull out my bow and shoot the latch, allowing Craig to open the window. Oh hey that's right I took archery at some point in time.
YOU ARE READING
South Park The Stick of Truth: The Princess and The Dragon born
Fanfic*Less cringey, grammatically correct, and just overall slightly better version is posted on Archive of our own. Same names and stuff.* -First Book of 3- Based off the stick of truth game where you play as silent Dovahkiin. DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING...
