When I first met him, I only ever let my light shine through. I was a girl with messy hair, hiding behind it, her messy mind.
I told him everything I loved, nothing I hated. Everything ended in a giggle or a short smile.
I told him my favorite songs and the books I kept on my shelf, closest to my bed.
I said, I was healing -
I thought, I was healing.
When I first met him, he saw no flaw in my eyes. I was a walking picture perfect girl.
I swallowed my tears down with words.
I was damaging myself by hiding the hurt, hiding the sad in my soul.
Slowly I unraveled, like a story too long, the details began to feel like a blur.
A tear would slide down my cheek here, a sniff there, an 'I'm sad today' started off most conversations.
My voice changed my mood and he was able to tell if I was okay by a simple hello.
I could feel myself losing the image I tried to portray. I felt the paint chipping off my skin, I felt the blood covered smiling fading away. I was vulnerable. He saw me, a naked body, a naked soul, hurting, emotional and lost.
When he tried to pull me close, I ran with clumsy feet and weak knees.
I tried so hard to hide the sad girl in me, I had kept her in my chest underneath my rib cage, and set her free only in solitude.
God, I knew no one could love a mess in a dress, a disaster in denim, a sorrow in a skirt, I was too much, too bad .. But
He always tells me, he must be a no one and he's okay with being a no one, as long as I am someone to him.
Oh, he is my someone, my something, my only.
In front of him, I striped my clothes, my skin my bones, unzipped stories.
He looks at me like a book, a movie, an everlasting poem. He handles me with careful fingers, a delicate touch. He sews me back together with sweet yet meaningful words, and soft whispers. He let's me cry into his ears, he let's me sit in sadness without scaring him away. He has seen the girl that lives in my chest, he knows that she is apart of me, and just like how I have loved the boy living in his dark, he loves her back.
He still sees her light.
He still helps me fight.
