"Louis don't do this to me please. You know that I love this city."
"I won't leave you alone here when the tour starts, you need help and I'll make sure that you're getting it. I love you little sister don't you understand?" His voice sounds so caring and soft.
"I love you too Louis, but isn't there another option?"
"I'm afraid there isn't. Your health is important, and when I'm back you can always come here again. You'll have graduated by that time and things will be much easier."
"Okay.... I'm gonna hang up now, goodnight Louis." I mumble and end the call. I give Niall his phone and try to smile. It must look so weak though. He pulls me into his arms and doesn't let go of me anymore.
"Uhm, we're going to leave you two alone, seems like you don't need us anymore." Harry says and Liam nods.
"Thank you. Be careful, the wind is quite strong." I whisper. They nod and leave. When I hear the front door close I break down in tears. Niall pulls me with him to the sofa and lays down, my head on his chest. He tries to comfort me but nothing really makes this situation better.
"What did he say?" Niall asks me. After a few minutes I'm able to control my sobbing and crying and tell him about moving back to Doncaster. That makes him speechless, but he tries to hide it. I notice such things easily though. In order to calm me down again Niall starts to sing and strokes my back with his long, thin fingers. I recognize the lyrics as Jamie Lawson's I wasn't expecting that and sing along. At first my voice is shaky but after a few the stability is back and I sit up. I look at Niall and see a tiny little teardrop on his cheek. I wipe it away with my thumb when he takes my hand and kisses my fingers.
"Why did you wanna do this to yourself? I don't understand it. Maybe if I understand I'll be able to help you." Niall whispers.
"You won't understand. Nobody ever understands. Nobody understands that words hurt like sharp knives and that cutting is only putting mental pain into physical pain, as it is easier to get over with. Nobody understands being so sad that all you wanna do is fall asleep and never wake up again. Nobody understands that I just want to be happy."
"I want to try. I'm not nobody. I am someone. Someone who is determined to make you happy just like you want it. Listen, I like you. I really like you. You mean so much to me, isn't that worth a try?" that's all it takes him to say for me to tell him about what happened earlier. As I tell him I look directly into his eyes. Niall listens to me carefully and tells me to never give up again.
"There is so much that makes it worth being alive. Your family, your friends, the ones who stick to you no matter what. If James isn't one of these people, then let him leave. Don't hold on to a dickhead. I know it's easier said than done but you'll get over it eventually. Come on now, I'll replace your thoughts with better ones now." He gets off the sofa and pulls me with him into the kitchen. He switches on the light above the kitchen island and gestures me to sit down there. I watch him walking into my room and until he comes back I'm left in confusion. Niall hands me my guitar and asks me to play the guitar for him.
For a minute or so I think about what I could play. I go for Cold In Ohio by Jamie Lawson. As soon as I start to play Niall smiles. He makes some tea while singing along to the sound of the acoustic guitar. His voice is so beautiful and calming. Niall gets a lemon and cuts off two slices, which he puts into the tea. Hmmmmmm, I love tea with lemon. When he puts the finished tea onto the kitchen island he takes my guitar and leans his phone against the cup. He opens the front camera and starts recording. He starts to play the first few chords and I immediately recognize the song. Invisible by 5 Seconds Of Summer.
"Another day of painted walls and football on the TV, no one sees me. I fade away, lost inside the memory of someone's life, it wasn't mine..." I sing "...I was already missing before the night I left..." When the song is over Niall leans in to kiss me. I rest my left hand on his neck to pull him closer to me and deepen the kiss.
"I love you." he whispers into my ear. Afterwards, he stops his phone from filming. "I'm going to send this to you later." he smiles.
"I think I know how to deal with all this properly. I want to help other people, it will make me feel better as well. And I think I should see a psychologist. " I am determined for everything to get better. I've failed so many times, this time everything will be okay. It has to be.
"I think playing the guitar and singing is your escape isn't it?" Niall asks. I nod and reply "I guess so."
"Well, if you feel down then do something that makes you happy, play the guitar and sing along. It'll pay off."
--------------------
The sun shines through the huge window in my room and tickles my nose, causing me to wake up. It's a beautiful day. The calm after the storm. I sit up and look to my left. Niall is still sleeping. I look over to my calendar. Louis is coming home today. I smile. I wrap my duvet around my body. I feel good today.
I feel happy today.
I stroke through Niall's hair, but he doesn't wake up. I decide to get up. I switch on my laptop and sit down on the chair in front of my desk. I'm going to write a letter to Cybersmile Foundation, asking if they wanted me in their "team". I feel even better as soon as the email is sent. I check the time. almost 10 a.m. I should get ready for work. Today I'll be with my two favourite co workers. Kind of looking forward to it.
Hello :) I'm gladly writing again and hope that whoever is reading this story enjoys it as much as I do, please vote and comment it means a lot xx V
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Shirtsleeve
FanfictionI was the captain of the sinking boat, drowning in sadness. I let the demons pull me down even further, until someone held out a helping hand. This person was my brother, Louis. Although he wanted to keep me happy forever, it was impossible for him...
