Shirtsleeve

Chapter 2

As the night goes on, more and more food is being eaten, more drinks are being drunk and more jokes are being made. I try to laugh along but somehow it sounds like a faked laugh. Nobody seems to notice that though. My stomach does something that feels like a twist and I feel the urge to vomit.

"Excuse me." I mumble and leave the room, going into the bathroom. I close the door without making any noise. I look at my reflection in the mirror. A pale girl with brown hair and ocean blue eyes stares right back at me. I let some cold water rin over my wrist and splash some onto my face. It cools my face a little. Afterwards I walk outside, into the garden to get some fresh air. It's dark already, but there are a few lights switched on. Everyone is in Niall's living room as it became quite cold around 9pm. I look at the stars, they look so beautiful tonight. I shiver lightly so I grab a blanket from a chair and put it around me. It's soft and cozy. I walk around outside, the air really helps me with my stomach.

"Why are you outside alone?" someone asks from behind me. I turn around and face Harry.

"Needed some air." I smile at him. He walks closer and puts his arms around me. It feels nice.

"You know, if you don't wanna have to deal with your incredibly drunk brother and his girlfriend I could help you."

"That's very nice of you but are you sure? You know what he's like when he's drunk."

"Well, he asked me this morning to offer my help so here I am. Let's make a deal, I'll help you with getting them home and you make me a coffee as a thank you."

"That's lovely, but I don't want you to do that just because Louis asked you to"

"What if I want to?" he says and nuzzles his head in my neck.

"Oh stop it we're not a couple and you had a few drinks." Not as many as Louis though. He lets go of me and pulls me with him inside again. My cheeks immediately flush red due to the warmth. We're back in perfect timing because the other guys are currently taking selfies. Not those normal ones, those crazy, funny and hilarious ones.

About an hour later it's time to drive home. Louis and Tanja are in the back of my car making out while I'm driving.

"Don't make babies in here." I say while rolling my eyes. I switch on the radio so I don't hear the noises they make. Trying to give them some privacy here. I'm just very glad that I remember the way we took to come here, otherwise I'd have to interrupt Louis.

The next morning I wake up covered with three duvets, and in the middle of like 8 pillows. I don't really remember anything after coming home, but something bad must have happened. I never use so many blankets and pillows unless I feel really awful. I push and kick everything out of my bed, spreading my arms and legs out over the whole bed. I'm laying on my stomach, listening to the melodies the birds are singing. Then I realize something. It's really quiet in this house. Usually when Tanja and Louis are both here it isn't silent at all. I get up and then I notice several scratches on my arms. I used to do that when I tried to resist the urge to cut.

There's a note sticked to my door.

"We're out eating some breakfast and spending the day in the city, have a lovely Sunday, don't know when I'll be back." Is what it says. Awesome. Very awesome. I let out a deep sigh and walk into the kitchen. We have some waffles left from yesterday, so I decide to eat those. It's rather warm outside and on those days I prefer to eat on our terrasse. I sit outside even longer than for eating breakfast. It's not really warm around this time of the year so you have to make the best out of everything.

I feel sort of empty today. It's not like I'm sad, I just don't feel anything. I guess it's time to fill myself with something then. My only escape - music. I walk inside to grab my guitar and a blanket. In the garden, I spread the blanket over the grass and sit down on it.