What He Left (Hannily)

10: Hard Times & Tough Decisions

Hanna's POV

I knew Emily would be affected by this, but what I didn't know is how much she would be affected. Turns out, it's much more than I thought.
It's getting worse and worse by the day, even the hour.
Sometimes, she just randomly starts balling. Right now is one of those times.
"Girls," Mrs. Fields walks into Emily's room and stops when she sees the state her daughter is in.
"Oh, honey." She extends her arms and walks towards her, embracing her beautiful frame.
Emily doesn't say anything, she just sits there with tears dripping out of her glassy eyes.
I place my hand on her thigh and rub gently, trying to clam her down. She just closes her eyes for a couple seconds and opens them again, continuing to stare off into space.
"It'll all be okay Emmy." She pulls away and strokes the side of Emily's head.
I wince at her mom's words.
Emily hates being told that bad situations will be okay, because she knows they won't be. With Emily, you have to be real and not sugarcoat things. Tell her the truth and don't be afraid of how it will make her feel.
"The girls want to come over, is that okay Pam?" I ask, remembering the text I received from Spencer a couple minutes ago.
"Oh of course, but dinner will be served at seven o'clock. You're welcome to stay but I can't feed three more people." Pam says apologetically, and I smile and thank her. I'm happy about the relationship I've formed with Pam.
My attention returns to the love of my life and my heart breaks for the thousandth time in ten minutes. I scoot closer to her than I already was and scratch her spine up and down, relaxing her a smidge.
"Okay girls I'll see you at dinner. I'm going to go grocery shopping. Be good." She kisses us both on the forehead and leaves.
A few minutes later, Alison, Spencer, and Aria walk up the stairs and into Em's room.
Emily doesn't say anything the entire time and there are a few awkward moments of slience when one of the girls asks her a question. She just sits there and stares off into space, not even acknowledging them.
chat casually for a little bit and then decide to go to the Brew; coffee always calms everyone's nerves.
We all stand up, except for Emily, and walk to the door.
"Em, you coming?" Aria asks and turns around.
She just shakes her head and reaches for the blanket on the end of the bed. She tries to cover herself up but Aria walks over and takes it from her.
"Aria, give it back." Emily half-whines, half-groans.
"Em, what's wrong? You've been really down in the dumps. Let's go get caffeine, it always makes you feel better." She tries to pull the covers out of her hands once more but Emily continues to, lazily, fight her off.
"Come on, Em you're going to the Brew-"
"I'm not going anywhere Aria-"
"Yes you are, there's no point in staying inside-"
Emily interrupts her again. "Aria!" She snaps and we all jump. "There is no point in breathing anymore. Let alone, "strolling down to the Brew and grabbing casual coffee"," she raises her voice in a faux prep tone. "I have bigger things to worry about, and I honestly don't want to be around anyone right now!" Emily tangles her hands in her hair and drags them down to cover her eyes.
"Em..." Aria softens the sharp tone hanging in the air.
"Just," Emily breathes deeply, "leave. Everyone, please."
My heart sinks. Aria slowly makes her way out the door, momentarily looking back at Emily, confused.
I kiss the top of Em's head and walk out of the room reluctantly.

Emily's POV

While the girls are gone to the Brew, I stay in my room with the television on quietly in the background. An overwhelmingly lonely feeling starts pressing down on my shoulders and I sigh deeply at the wall.
My thoughts start piling up higher and higher in my head until I can barely hold back a sob.
I hear the front door open and close and then my mother's voice travels up the stairs, "Hey Em, I'm back! Mind helping me with the groceries?" She calls.
I roll my eyes and swing my legs over the side of my bed, annoyed.
I half trudge, half stomp down the stairs and into the kitchen where ten plus paper bags are littering the island.
"Those," she motions towards the bags closest the stove, "are fruits and veggies." She clicks her two inch heels out of the room to retrieve more bags from the car.
I start unpacking the dairy, and then I move on to the canned foods, and soon I've become so distracted, that the feeling I was having earlier subsides. That is, until I run out of bags.
"Thank you, Emmy. I'm going to start making dinner now. Are the girls here?" She asks and starts pulling out ingredients.
"Um," I wipe my sweaty palms on my sweatpants, "no they're at the Brew but they'll be back in a few." I say and dart up the stairs.
I lean against my headboard and rub. my bubble belly. I think of the weak, undeveloped babies inside me. I thinm about the cancer on baby number two. I think about statistics and all the possibilities. I think about the baby's future and what it entails.
Right when my thoughts start putting me in actual physical pain, my bedroom door swings open and in come my friends, bringing a gust of air smelling of coffee, shampoo, and outside air.
"Emily, how are you feeling?" Hanna rushes toward me with a small paper bag in her hand, setting it down next to my bed.
I shrug and pretend to watch the cliché soap opera playing lowly on my television. A bearded man takes a puff of a cigar and tips his hat at a woman dressed in a tight red dress, walking down a dark street in a rainy city.
"We got your fav." Alison points to the bag, "A caramel frappé with whipped cream and a chocolate donut." I hear the smile in her voice but I don't take my attention off of the TV screen.
"Thanks." I mumble and feel the mood in the room shift from awkward to, 'did she really just speak?'.
I look up at all their faces and, sure enough, they're all shocked.
"Not talking isn't going to help the situation, I've learned." I sigh and they all dial it back a few notches.
"Well I'm glad you're responsive once again." Aria smiles and I feel a tiny pang of guilt.
"Aria, I'm sorry." I apologize and start to feel a lump forming in the back of my throat, "I shouldn't have snapped at you earlier. I'm sorry for everything I've done you guys. I've been bitchy this entire time but I'm just extremely stressed and sad, and I need some time to think about what I'm doing with my life. I have two babies inside me, one might not even have a future, and I'm just having a hard time getting my life back on track, and finding the motivation to get a job, bot to mention school, so I can make enough money to support myself, but more importantly my kids." I wipe the tears from my cheeks and let all my emotions fly everywhere.
The room is silent, but not the usual silence around here. Hanna has one hand on my shoulder, Alison has her arms crossed with one hand over her chest, Aria is modeling a sad, but synpathetic smile, and Spencer is sitting at my desk, with her legs crossed and her head resting on her hand, eyes wide.
"Em, we understand. If we didn't, we'd all be upset with you and we aren't." Spencer adds after the momentary silence.
Then Aria speaks up, "We can't fully put ourselves in your shoes but we're trying. That's why none of us have snapped back at you."
Finally, Alison says, "Everyone needs to breakdown at one point or another. We all have to blow off steam and often times, even though we don't mean it, we take our feelings out on other people. It's natural. No hard feelings Emily, don't worry."
All of their words start piling up on me, but in a good way. In a way that they basically overpower the bad thoughts I've been struggling to bare the weight of.
"I seriously don't know where I would be right now if I didn't have you guys. Any other friends would have just said 'screw your attitude, I don't need this, bye.' But not you guys." I smile and wipe, what had been sad tears but are now happy tears, off of my face and hug each of them individually.
"And speaking of getting a job," Hanna pipes up after I've hugged all of my friends, "I talked to the manager at the Brew and guess what?" She says excitedly. Her happiness is cantagious and I'm itching to know what she's got up her sleeve. "I gave him your number and told him how much you need a job. He said he'd call you tomorrow if you're free." She winks at me and I gasp.
"Hanna, I love you!" I squeeze her neck and close my eyes. "You're the best girl in the entire world." I sigh and she rubs my back.
I open my eyes and see a flash of light pop throughout the room and Hanna pulls away.
"What the hell was that?" Han asks, playfully.
Aria, looking guilty, puts her phone down quickly and looks around nonchalantly. After a beat she gushes, "I'm sorry, but you two are undeniably cute. I had to capture the moment." She smiles and I roll my eyes.
"So five me details about the job!" I shake Hanna's knee and she starts talking.
"They're looking for a part time brewer. Their last one quit a couple days ago and business has been very slow. All you would have to do is learn the different coffee combinations and know how to make them. Also, you'd serve them to the customers and occasionally clean the surfaces and close the shop." She clapd her hands together twice and I smile.
"That's perfect."
"Great!" Hanna beams.
"Girls! I think it's time for you to head home now!" My mom calls up the stairs.
"Okay, they'll be down in a minute!" I call back and stand to walk them down the stairs.
"Hey Em, since it's Sunday we'll all meet here after school tomorrow?" Hanna asks.
"Sure, I'll check with my mom and let you guys know." I say and they agree.
"Night guys. Again, I love you all and thank you so much." I hug them all and kiss Hanna softly on her lips.
"Goodnight, Em."