PAIN is LOVE

torments of an aching heart

Day by day I watched as the guy of my dreams roamed the school hand in hand with the ever stunning Dabs. How I wished I could run a blade across her cheeks and kill her beauty!So much that no guy would ever look at her again, the idea of breaking her legs and making her look like something that popped out of a nightmare seemed amusing enough. Sometimes i cursed the kindness that lived in me for I could never pull off such a stunt.

Dabs! No word could come close to describing the rage i felt for her
***
''let it go Rea, maybe he never liked you from the start'' I stared at her

'' I mean like, he was still new and all, maybe he was looking for someone to hang with and later realized that you were not the one, you know'' Thabile had a habit of using the words 'you know' at the end of everything she said and it highly irritated me but what irritated me more at that instant was that she chances of what she was telling me was true were shockingly high.

''are you saying I'm not good enough for him? ''

''no, I'm just saying they don't see the beauty I see in you, they don't know what a great person you are and I don't think they'll ever find out if you keep hiding in your shell'' she laughed, though I saw no reason to

''girl! did you just go les on me?'' I teased

''I'm just saying, you know'' I stared at her and smiled

''let's head for class, shall we?'' I grabbed my bag from the hay and we headed for the classroom.

Beauty stood at the corner of my class. Six eyes gazed at me, a mocking gaze so loud I could almost hear it. A low yet loud laughter ran through the corridor and at that moment I just wished I could shrink and be so small that not even the ants could see me, I just wanted to be invisible to the whole world including myself. Defeat was good to accept and the nice part was that you could pick yourself up and move on. But defeat was something else if you could not or rather would not accept it, it could destroy you so bad you would not know what hit you and right there and then it was eating me bits by bits! Thabile and I stopped and started at each other for a while and I started moving towards the class, I felt her disapproval but I ignored it and kept moving forward.

''hey! '' Lebo poked me on the forehead and gave a slimy smile.

''butt out!'' I pushed her hand aside. Brave I know.....

''don't you dare'' she blazed at me

''did you think you were gonna get away with it? '' Sheila bugged in

I stood there, hopeless not knowing what my next move would be. If for anything I had just lost my virginity DSL was just about to screw me up. Before I knew it Thabile was racing towards us

''leave her alone, Lebo!'' she pushed her. Lebo stood still, stunned at what Thabile had just done but what followed was not what anyone expected, well anyone but me. In less than a minute Thabile was lying across the floor with her books creating a mini pool around her. She rubbed a hand on her cheek and her eyes shone like the surface of a lake reflecting lamps at night.

''get lost you imbecile!'' Dabs said harshly but did not move from where she was. Thabile stood and ran to the bathroom. the sound of her footsteps struggling to keep up with her and in a moment all was silent.

''why did you have to talk to her like that? '' I asked angrily but kept my voice low in fear of drinking the same medicine as Thabile.

''if you knew what was good for you would keep your mouth shut! '' Dabs puffed smoke in the air then ran her tongue across her teeth ''why don't you try it?'' she continued as handed me the cigarette.

''I'm good'' I said in shaky voice

''I didn't ask if you were good or not. Maybe you didn't hear me. Take this and smoke, now!'' she looked at me with those hungry eyes of hers

''no! '' I exclaimed

''man-handle her'' she puffed another ring. What was so attractive about her? Maybe if I smoke he'll like me. Maybe if I wear short things like that he'd think I am attractive, probably more attractive than Dabs.

Lebo and Sheila pressed me against the wall and held my hands firmly so I could not escape their grip. Dabs moved slowly and fiercely like a lioness on the hunt. just the thought of her coming close to me was scary enough to give me a heart attack. I felt her slender fingers clipping on my nose and she pushed the cigarette into my mouth but i was not about to smoke that easily, as much as they frightened me I had my standards to live up too.it was only a matter of time when they saw that they were not being successful. Lebo pressed against my cheeks forcing me to open my mouth.

''smoke! '' Dabs demanded. There was a reason why their slang name began with a D and why that D represented Dangerous.

''let me go!'' I choked

''hey! Let her go Dabs'' TJ yelled as he dragged Dabs by the shoulder ''I said let her go okay'' she signaled the others to let me loose.

''we were just having fun'' she smiled

''it's not right! I don't want you touching her, is that clear'' he was a fire-breathing dragon

''don't be so hostile babes'' Dabs said running her fingers on TJ's face. I was sure she was just trying to spite me

I gave Dabs one last glance and we to join my friend in the bathroom. She looked at me with weary eyes

''crying is good, you know'' and like they were commanded to, the tears flowed down my cheeks like an angry waterfall.

Although the day had gone horribly wrong, a solution to my problem had finally emerged - TJ had a soft spot for me or was it another of his games? I did not care! All I knew was that I was going to use it to my full advantage.

I was undergoing a super make-over.