PAIN is LOVE

someone new

''Rea, wait up'' Thabo called out from somewhere within the crowd. my eyes were quick to search the area and they spotted him trying to squeeze out of the stampede. He was not bad to look at, wait let me rephrase that, he was very good to look at and had excellent features too. He probably came second after TJ. A nice slender body, an acceptable light skin complexion, well carved small lips and had the most fabulous eyes that a girl could dream about all her life. Finally he made it out in one complete piece

''hi'' I gave him my gracious smile (so I was being told, it was partially true because I had nice teeth)

''how are you this cold morning?'' he said rubbing his hands together and blowing into the cup shape he had created as a way of keeping them warm

''I must say, I am in need of a human heater''through my transformation, i had mastered the art of using my eyes in a seductive manner. All the boys seemed to love and Thabo was another one of my victims as i saw his face lightened up at the ring of my words in his subconscious.

"oh I see what you did there Rea" he smiled 

Thabo had been asking me out for a while now and I just could not allow myself to do it. Not because I had never dated before or thought he was a pervert and certainly not because I was not attracted to him but because I had a ghost haunting my heart.

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''I know I never took notice of you before but now that I've seen what you've got to offer I don't think I can let that pass me by'' he said in his lame yet decent voice, his hands in his pants and his lower lip in his mouth after every sentence.

''just because you've seen me in a short skirt you think I'm up for grabs, don't tease me Thabo'' I had replied carrying my bag loosely on one shoulder and one hand fidgeting with a pen. Somewhere inside I was still that shy and reserved girl but since no one could see beneath my flesh or trespass the wall of my thoughts, I decided to go with the flow.

''that's not what I am saying. All I'm saying is that I'm attracted to you, not because of your nice slender legs and your spectacular curves but because of the person you are. I like your energy, the vibe you create, it's good Rea, it's awesome'' he looked at me trying to pull that charmer boy look and drew away quickly when he realized I was not intrigued.

''I don't have a problem with dating you but I fear that you will be the one with a problem'' I said recklessly. I looked at him for a while and felt a little guilt press against my heart for what I was about to say was not good at all.

''put it on me babe'' you would not be so damn confident if you knew what was coming your way. I thought

''what if I gave you a chance though told you something you would not acknowledge?'' he stiffened for a while then finally nodded

''I'm sure I can take it'' he said and right at that moment I blew him

''what if I said I could only love you with my mind because my heart belongs to someone else?'' he froze. He slowly removed his hands from his pockets and rubbed them against his face, he gave an awkward laugh then took my hand into his, squeezed it tight, looked into my eyes then he rubbed his face once more

''You know Rea" he smiled for a while. I noticed how his facial expression changed to deep in thought mode "I think I'm late for class'' he finally said and left

 oh well

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''it's been a while, hey'' he threw his hand over my shoulder.

On that day I had settled for super-short blue denim shorts and white Adidas, a white tank top and a lots of accessories. some concealer and eyeliner worked wonders, i wore my long braids down as the the finish touch.

I nodded and smiled.

''are you that cold?'' he continued

''you don't want to know'' I switched my body weight from my right leg to the left indicating my impatience. Slowly but surely the material girl attitude was really getting a twist on my real personality

''mind if I accompany you home?'' I was about to decline his proposal when I saw TJ hand in hand with Dabs

''I'd love that'' I chorused loud enough for TJ to hear.

To my surprise he reacted. I saw from the way his eyes were squirting that he was trying to recall which direction my voice had come from. When he finally located me and his eyes locked into mine, I slammed a hand across Thabo's back and drew close enough to rest my head on his shoulder. Just as my head turned away from him I saw the annoyed Dabs  pull TJ away. Yes!

''so did you get time to think it over?'' out of the blue the question that I was avoiding popped out.

''are you willing to live with what I offered?'' I returned a question as well

''who is this guy?'' he asked

''what do you wanna do with him?'' I was not planning on answering any questions

''I just want to know if he realizes what a special person he is missing out on''

Honestly I was flattered by his cheesy remark and if I was really a material girl I would have already accepted his invite but I was not that kind at heart.

''I don't think he does'' and I broke my number one rule.

''what happened to you and your retar....''he hesitated for a while ''....friend'' he continued

''what happens to friendships that were not meant to be? ''

''oh, I see'' he said it like he knew what I meant though it was written all over his face that he was lost in the middle of nowhere. We stopped at the entrance of the taxi rank. the place seemed a lot more crowded than it usually did and then i remembered that we were slowly approaching the end of the year and schools were releasing students early while preparing the paperwork 

''guess I'll see you tomorrow'' I said

''tomorrow'' he smiled and turned to start on his way home.

''if it counts for anything I always thought you were cute'' I called behind him and turned before he could say anything more. I was feeling bad about the way I was ditching and using him but I knew that it was all for a good course. I hopped into the taxi hoping that the next day would be the day that TJ would walk up to me and say '' you look nice Rea''. But i was smart enough to realize that the chances of that happening were as slim as the Special K bar

do you think Rea would be better off with Thabo?

let's start a conversation

-Keletso