One Shots

In With the Rain

The rain it's pouring down. Outside my window, the drops fall against the glass. I trace my finger down creating an imaginary trail for the droplet to follow. My head leans against the glass as I listen to the sound of water falling from the sky.

I'm alone here, in this house. My parents left hours ago to rush to your aid. My brother seems to be having no problem with all this, he's asleep down the other end of the house. So yes technically I'm not alone, but it feels like I am. The house feels bigger now, like an abandoned castle. So many rooms, the hallways are so long. I swear sometimes I can hear them echo and groan. I'm scared of being here while I know your out there in pain somewhere. The rain started around the time I began feeling like this. Feeling lost, feeling scared.

Everyone who knows me knows I don't cry for just anything or anyone. But right now, my tears are falling of their own accord. I have no control over my emotions, the tears just fall. They stain my cheeks and leave my eyes red. I've thought about going outside and just sitting in the rain. Sitting and thinking, that's all I've been doing since the call. The call that potentially could drag you away from me.

There's nothing I can do so I just sit and my mind focuses on you. As I think of what could happen more tears flow. Now it's not just raining outside, instead there is a waterfall falling from my eyes. A pool beneath me, surrounding my body on the floor. I lean my head harder against the window. I know there is no point crying , it's not going to change a thing. Truth is I should be trying to sleep but right now, that's impossible. Even if I tried I'd still stay lying there with tears wetting my sheets. I would cry myself to sleep for the first night ever.

People would say I'm crying because it's too much for a kid to deal with but that's not right. True it's all a lot to take in but that's not my reason to cry. I'm afraid, scared of what's ahead. Because you're lying in a hospital bed with tubes probably all around you. I can only imagine since I'm not with you. I'm kept in the dark about all this, no one told me anything until the last second. Before leaving my father protested that I had a right to know, in truth I wish I didn't know. But then again I think that not knowing would be worse than knowing. A disease that can potentially cause you to leave. Do me one favour, hold on!

It's late night or early hours by now and still no word. I've done my research now and I know what's wrong. My main concern now is I didn't read anywhere that there is a specific way to fix you. Can they fix you? I sure hope so because I'm so not ready. I'm not ready to loose you to death. I can't let you leave me, I'm afraid of what will happen if you did. You will eventually leave, this I know but not right now.

So here I sit, with the sound of the rain ringing in my ears. It seems to be the only calming sound. My head leans against the window as my arms hug my legs tight to my chest. I stay like this, I'm convinced I will till I can see you. I know it's selfish my wishes but please, listen. You've always been a great listener, so if you're ever going to listen do it now. Don't let go, don't leave!

So if your lying in the hospital bed, with family surrounding you, worried-do what I'm doing. Turn your head and look out the window. Listen as the rain is pouring down but if you listen closer you may just hear me. Praying, using all my being to beg for your recovery. Begging on my knees, crying softly out your name.

I love you, don't ever forget. Don't ever doubt how much you mean to me. Don't leave...I'll never be the same.