The Poems Of A Young Suicidal Girl

Poem #37

You know it isn't fair that you keep me strung along like this yes I know I'm nothing to you but you know you're something to me you know you're everything to me yet you still have no trouble treading on my heart time and time again and I don't understand because we've laughed we've had conversations you've made me smile but then you've made me cry you've made me question everything you've made me weak and for what? Does it make you feel good? Does it make you feel strong and powerful to see me like this? What did I do to deserve you, to deserve everything you unknowingly put me through? I know I am young but you, you are older and you must have gotten your heart broken at least once before how can you know what this feels like but allow me to go through the same over and over again? I don't understand it, one day you want me and the next you don't. Do you just want me to want you? Is that it? Because if it is, you have one because my god I want you, I want you in every way imaginable but that doesn't fucking matter because you don't want me, you want something from me. And I guess I know how that goes, really I shouldn't be surprised. I have nothing to offer you but my heart, and obviously that means jack shit to you. I hope you never find out how much I really need you because I know you would enjoy that to no end, not because you feel the same but because then you will have won. I love you, damn you. Damn you for the hell you have been putting me through and damn you for not caring at all. And you know what is the worst part? I still only see the good in you, I still look at you and all the anger melts and I feel fucking butterflies for a man who is completely and utterly uninvested in me.
- r.b.