I Miss You, Daddy

5 - wounds

March 12, 2019

                Daddy? I had a bad dream and woke up, and when I looked at the clock, it's 2:06 AM. I tried to go back to sleep, but I can't anymore. It's a good thing I can't remember my dream, but it was a bad one. I wanted to go to Mum's room, but I heard her crying outside my door. She was crying so hard, Daddy. She was also talking to someone on the phone, but I can't understand what the person was saying. I can't understand what Mum was saying too. She was crying too hard.

I heard Mum say, "But Zayn is always careful when he's driving." She was still crying. The person she was talking to said something, and her crying got louder. Why is she crying like that? It's getting scary. Maybe this is part of my bad dream.

                Daddy, I still can't sleep. Mum is still crying, and I'm afraid to go out because the way Mum is crying is different. It doesn't sound like her. She's crying and screaming so loud.

                Daddy, Mum's not okay. I went out to see her, and her face is so red and so wet. Her arms were so bloody, and she has wounds on them. She told me not to come close, but you told me to always take care of Mum while you're gone. I asked her what's wrong, but she doesn't want to tell me. "Stop crying, Mum," I told her then I kissed her lips. That's what you did when Mum is sad. She shook her head and kept repeating your name. "Zayn, Zayn." She kept saying that while she cried. "It's okay, Daddy's okay," I tried to tell her. She just hugged me. I didn't mind if her blood got on my clothes. I fixed Mum's hair and wiped her face.

Daddy, she didn't want to stop crying. It made me so worried about her. I didn't want you to see her like this because you will cry too. Thank you for teaching me what to do when Mum was like this. I helped her lie down on the sofa, and she said sorry her blood was all over the place. Mum looked dizzy, and you told me before that she can't stand blood. I cured her wounds, Daddy. I put medicine on it. I blew on it so it won't hurt a lot. Mum cried, and I told her that wounds will only hurt a while. After I don't know how many hours, Mum's wounds stopped bleeding. I fixed up my stuff I used to clean her up, and I saw a blade on the floor. Maybe that's what hurt Mum.

"I'm so sorry, Bea." She was still crying, so I went back to her and told her it's okay. I didn't mind taking care of Mum. But I think she wasn't talking about that because she shook her head. "I should have kept him safe to be here with you right now." This time, I didn't understand Mum anymore. She kept saying sorry.

Her phone rang, and she couldn't reach it so I answered. "Hello?" I asked. Uncle Louis answered, and he sounded like he was crying too. He wanted to talk to Mum, so I gave her the phone.

"Louis, please tell me he's alright. Tell me he's okay."

Daddy, you're okay, right?

Maybe she's not talking about you.

I just watched Mum. The tears formed in her eyes again while Uncle Louis talked to her. What was he saying? Why was he making Mum cry?

"Louis."

"Liam's on his way," I heard from the phone. Uncle Li was coming? But why? I knew you and your friends were just a few cities away, but why is he coming here?

Mum nodded, still crying. "How is he, Louis?"

I just sat there, stroking Mum's forehead while she cried. I started to feel like crying because Mum won't stop crying. I didn't like to see Mum being hurt. Mum put the phone down, and I was already crying like her. "Baby," she said, opening her arms again. I came into her hug, and I hugged her arms too. I kissed her wound, but she cried harder. I asked her if it hurt, and she said, "So much."

I said sorry for hurting her, and she didn't answer. I hope Mum wasn't mad. There was a knock on the door. Mum still looked dizzy, so I told her I'd get it. When I asked who it was, it was Uncle Liam. I opened the door, and he looked so sad. Why was everyone crying, Daddy?

Uncle Liam closed the door and put one of his arms around me. He walked to Mum and looked very worried when he saw her wounds. He helped her stand up and asked if she wanted to bring me. She nodded. Mum looked so weak. "Stay here," Uncle Liam told her. After that, he carried me to my room and changed my clothes at once. He's fast.

He helped Mum get up, get out of the house and into his car. He put me beside her then went back inside our house. I crawled to Mum. She was crying in her hands. She was still sobbing, and I rubbed her back and asked Mum what's wrong. "Zayn," she simply said. "He can't... I love him too much."

"I love Daddy, too." Uncle Liam was already there with us, and he already locked the door for us. I thanked him. He gave me a jacket for the two of us, but he got you Daddy's favorite jacket. The red and white one you gave him for his birthday. I wore my jacket, but Mum cried into hers.