I Miss You, Daddy

6 - zayn

                I fell asleep for a while. I dreamed again, but it was a good dream. It was a memory, Daddy. My mind remembered the time when I was asking Mum for a new toy, and she got mad.

I went to you and told you I wanted that new toy, but Mum was mad. You carried me and took me to Mum and asked her why she was mad at me. She was mad because you were always away from us, and I kept asking for more. I didn't even thank you sometimes. She was about to cry, but you went closer to her.

"You know I'll do anything to give my princess and my queen everything they want," you told her. Then you kissed her lips.

"I want you, Zayn." Mum was already smiling, and you smiled too. It was a different smile.

You then told me to go play in my room first. I asked you why, and you said, "Maybe you're getting that brother after all."

Yes, I'm getting a brother!

I went to my room and played. I got bored and went back to your room, but it was already locked. I tried knocking, but no-one answered. I heard Mum repeating your name again and again, then I went away because no-one was talking to me.

After that, Mum was laughing. I peeked out of my room, and you were there. You asked me if I wanted you to join. Of course I did! You loved playing dolls with me. You even dressed them up better than I did. I asked you about my brother of course, and you told me, "Patience, Bea."

I remember the next day, I found a bill under my pillow. I was so happy when I showed you. You told me that's for my toy and not to tell Mum.

I felt the car stop, and I woke up. Daddy, I'm already so worried about Mum. She didn't look like she had any sleep at all. And she's still crying. I cried too, and Uncle Liam tried to make me stop, but I can't anymore. Mum was hurt. Good thing we were at the hospital.

Uncle Liam bounced me a little bit. I looked at his face, and he smiled at me, but he didn't look happy. I wasn't sobbing, Daddy, but tears were falling out of my eyes. I was sad about everyone being sad.

I saw Mum run and hug Uncle Louis. Uncle Li and I came closer to them, and Uncle Louis gave me a smile like Uncle Li and Mum gave a while ago. They are not happy. Uncle Louis kissed my forehead and asked me to stop crying. Uncle Liam brought me a little farther from them.

Uncle Harry was there too. What's happening? "Vas happenin'?" As you would say. I smiled a little bit when I thought of you saying that.

Uncle Harry was crying too. His eyes were redder than Uncle Louis', but not more than Mum's.

"Harry." Mum hugged him, and Uncle Harry closed his eyes and more tears fell out. "Harry, please tell me Zayn's alive."

Daddy? What's going on?

I pulled on Uncle Li and told him to move closer, but he didn't. I looked at Mum and your friends again. A doctor was with them now. "Please, Sir, tell me Zayn's alive," Mum repeated.

The doctor just kept a no-emotion face. "We did everything that we could. I'm sorry, Mrs. Malik."

Uncle Louis hugged Mum from behind, but she pushed him away. "Nikki," he said while he tried again, but Mum just had the same reaction. She looked at the doctor. She was breathing like she just finished running.

"I'm sorry," the doctor said again. This time, he went away from them.

"Zayn!" Mum shouted again and again. Uncle Louis hugged her from behind again, but she didn't push him away. She kept screaming your name like you were going away somewhere to leave her. It made me so worried about her. Even if Uncle Louis was holding her, she kept trying to get away from him.

Daddy, I'm scared. Why is Mum calling your name? What happened to you, Daddy?

"Nikki!" Uncle Louis shouted. Mum got out of his hold. Uncle Liam ran to them, and I saw Mum crying near a hospital bed in one of those rooms with glass on a part of the door.

I don't know who was in the bed, Daddy, but Mum cried so hard. I can't see who it was because the face was covered with so much blood. Nurses started to come to them and clean the person up, but Mum didn't want to leave. She just kept crying. She held her hand out to the person's face and wiped some of the blood on the cheeks with her hand. The nurses tried to stop her, but she shook them off. She put her other hand on his face. He looks like a guy.

Daddy, who is it? Mum cried even harder when she touched his face.

Everything became so quiet. Only Mum's crying could be heard.

She wiped the all blood that her hands could wipe.

She whispered a name while she cried.

I think I know who it is now, Daddy.

"Zayn."