Chapter 1

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"Hey Sam, pass me that shirt will you?"

I handed him the band shirt that was next to me.

"Do you have to leave?" I groaned.

"Hey, the job calls." He answered back, stuffing the shirt in his suitcase "You want me to disappoint the fans?" He pouted.

"No." I sighed. "But, I wish you didn't have to leave for so long." I felt like crying.

That's what happens when your brother is in a band and has to tour for months. I always hated when he would leave for tour. I mean I love and admire that he's doing what he loves to do, and not caring what anyone has to say. But, it breaks me to see him leave for so long. His my best friend.

"Hey, it'll go by fast okay?" He hugged me tightly. "In no time I'll be be back." I nodded even though I didn't believe a word he was saying.

It was always like this. New record, new tour dates, go touring, come back and rest for a couple months, new tour dates, and tour again. And then the cycle repeats itself.

I went back to my room while Alex went out to get more stuff he might need for tour. I sighed as I felt myself getting sucked into the black hole called depression.

I'm gonna miss him. Even though we're eight years apart, we're really, really close. It's always been like this, even when we were little. He's always been there for me, protecting me from everything. And every single time he left, it made me really sad.

Being a shy introvert, who gets panic attacks I was never really good at making friends. I would always get shaky and stutter when I had to talk in public, which made it really hard for, well, everything.

I wasn't always like this, I used to talk more, be more outgoing, have a lot of friends but, over the years things got bad.

When my "friends" started talking crap about me, making rumors fly, everyone just started being really rude and you could tell they did not wanna talk to me. No matter how nice I was to them, they didn't care.

So, I would cry myself to sleep at three in the morning, wondering why I was stupid, ugly, and why no one loved me.

I would pray to God He'd kill me. And when he didn't kill me, I almost took matters into my own hands but, thank God I didn't actually succeed.

I woke up one day and realized; I didn't need anyone. From that day on I completely shut them out. I didn't try to make friends. I didn't care about making friends. I didn't care what people thought of me.

And it helped.

I no longer cried at three in the morning, I wasn't as suicidal, and I wasn't as sad.

But, unfortunately, since I cut people off, I boxed myself in.

Over time, I've gotten even more shy. It's hard for me to speak to strangers. And I have anxiety attacks.

If I could stay home forever, I would and I would never get out.

Alex got that. Something people never understood, he did. We were polar opposites yet we were inseparable. People even thought we we're twins at times.

I sighed once again and played some music silently.

Someone knocked on my door, asking for permission to come in. I figured it was my parents so I said yes.

But, surprising me, the one who opened the door was Jack.

"Hey, Sammy, where's Alex?" He came in and laid down next to me.

I sighed, "I think he went to the store to buy more stuff for tour."

"You don't sound very happy." He chuckled.

"I'm not." I responded truthfully.

"Is it cause you're gonna miss us?" He asked. "And by us I mean me, cause, let's face it, how can you not miss me?" He joked.

"Well, of course, how can I stand to be away from your hotness?" I laughed. "And your inflated ego."

"Hey!" He licked my cheek.

"What the heck?!" I wiped my cheek vigorously.

"You look tasty?" He bursted out in giggles, making me follow in suit.

We joked around like this for about and hour, while he waited for Alex to come back. Other than Alex, I was also comfortable with the other quarter of All Time Low.

I'd joke around with them and have lots of fun with them. It was easy for me to hang out with them. I felt very comfortable with them, so I was able to let myself free from my anxieties and actually enjoy other people's company.

The only problem was Alex. He didn't particularly like me hanging out that much with them because he was afraid of them liking me. Which was honestly so stupid. Why would someone who was eight years older, hot, and could have anyone at all, pick me? Idiot.

I will admit though, I may or may not have, a teeny, tiny, little crush on Jack. But, no way in hell would I tell anyone that.

"Hey Sammy, which looks better-" Alex came bursting through my door, holding two different leather jackets. "With this shirt?" He looked down in deep thought.

"I say the one on the left." Jack spoke up, surprising Alex.

"Oh Jack. What are you doing here, in my sisters room, with the door closed, laying on her bed, with her?" He questioned with an eyebrow raised.



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