Built to Fall Apart

3

It was time. I had to face my fears and get out.

 I needed to stop feeling bad for myself, and live my life.

I got up slathered some foundation and blush on and went about my regular routine. Maybe if I pretend that nothing happened, nobody will
say anything. Things might go back to normal.

But it was too late. I had been gone for days.

But I knew that I needed to get out there, you can't live in fear forever.

Just to be safe, being stuck on a bus with judgemental teenagers you aren't exactly in the right place with after being gone for a week, isn't exactly ideal.

I don't even think that I'll even  live through that ride to school.

So with that I grabbed my keys and drove to school in my car.

~*~

I walked into the bright and happy room known as B101. Aka my homeroom. I was definitely dressed to impress, a short skirt, a cute tank top with a white washed jean jacket and some cute Oxfords. I smiled as I walked into the room.

 The light hit me perfectly, everyone just stared at me as I made my way to my seat, wearing a happy smile.

 I heard a few whispers but I didn't want anything to get to me. I sat down and looked around. I know I shouldn't have, I just wish I stopped
myself.

 I turned to see Carly sitting with Makayla. My heart pulsing with anger. Makayla never really liked me anyways. But I never cared, I had my friends and she had hers. Carly was most likely just blindsided by the new most popular girl at school. Oh shoot, they noticed me. I slapped a smile on and turned around and for the rest of class, I never looked back.

At that moment I was tied together with a smile and sooner or later I'll be coming undone.

After I stopped smiling, and actually listened to the whispers around me, I knew I would breakdown crying.

~*~

After my first period class, I walked over to my locker to grab one of my textbooks and the sight was horrific. Dozens of posters and rude remarks were
shoved into my locker.

I rested my back on my locker and slowly people began filing out of the hallway to get to class.

 I can't believe how mean people are, I held a picture that lightly
fluttered from my locker onto my lap.

"Hahaha she thinks she's such a bad a** b****!" It was a picture of me with Marcus, Makenzie's boyfriend. Of course she was just sitting there watching me.I had seen this picture too many times and it hurt me to see her so emotionless.

 I let my body continue to cascade down the locker as I slowly put my hands to my face and began to cry.

When I was finally slapped with sense...

I didn't know what to do I was so done with that one viral video. I
didn't do anything wrong! I don't deserve to get those rude comments, snide remarks, or anything for that matter.

It was just because of the alcohol. Everyone knows I would never do that otherwise.

 With that I stood up and made my way to the girls bathroom, to
reapply some makeup. And get out of this slump.

The next few classes went by slowly with me as the main topic. I heard whispers and I saw people point but I couldn't break down.

 I had five and 1/2 more 6 weeks of school and if I wanted to be happy and keep my position as valedictorian, I was going to have get my grades and self esteem back up.