Flames of Fires Fade

I Hate That I Don't Hate You

You are in my mind and I hate it

I hate that I think of you when I don't want to

And that before I go to bed I see your face

So I can't help wonder more about your embrace

I hate that I don't hate you

Even though every time you ask I say that I do

Because you infuriate me 

But are the only one that fills me with passion

We only fight when we cross paths

But still stay up late and talk

And look at each other in the slightest of ways

Thinking like this can go on for days

But this feeling isn't going away

No matter how I try I don't want it to stay

Because just the thought of you makes me afraid

When I think of you every night and every day

And I can't help but wonder

If I somehow ever cross your mind

When we finally end up saying goodnight

And the door closes and you sleep tight

If just a glimpse of what happened today

Replayed through your brain

Like a clock that never stops ticking

And this heart that never stops beating

But I know that when we laugh together

That moment is something I cherish

And I want to be the only her

But most of all I want these things to perish

So I don't stay up writing poems about nothing

About nothing that I only wish was something

Something between us that I thought was special

Even though I don't want you to be that special

Because when I give you meaning

I can't stop overthinking and thinking

About breaking my heart in this twisted game

And if this will ever be the same

So I say that I hate you

To not feel this feeling

Of wondering whether this is a crush

Or just a fleeting moment all in a rush

I definitely will never admit what this is

To  anyone ever and never again

Will I let you into my mind

And if anyone asks I'll always deny

That I don't like you

But I hate you

But liking you

Is something that I hate