7 Kids-One Happy Family

Chapter 12

Mia's POV

    I'm getting better. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm getting there. It isn't easy coming out from a place filled with darkness. Mom is really helping me through everything. She says that I also have all of my siblings looking out for me, but let's be real. My siblings have their own lives and are exceptionally busy. They don't have time to worry about their own problems let alone mine. Although what Jason and Molly did at school a few days ago was pretty cool.

    I still have my dark moments though. I get nightmares throughout the night about me killing myself. It's scary to think about. It's even scarier to think about how I sometimes consider actually doing so sometimes. I don't know exactly why I am the way I am right now. I guess it's because some people have made me feel so worthless. Coming from a big family, I never really felt needed or wanted. There was always plenty of love to go around, but I always doubted that it would make a difference if I left.

    Mom has me sleep with her and dad every night. She calms me down after every bad dream. She protects me and holds me until everything as calmed down and I try to sleep a little more peacefully. I honestly think she has me sleep with them so she knows I'm okay. They want to protect me as much as they possibly can.

    I know it scares them as much as it scares me. They don't know what goes on when I'm in the bathroom. I could be overdosing on pills in the medicine cabinet. They don't know what goes on when I'm taking a shower. I can drown myself in the bath tub or something. I know they have to same fears as I do, but they don't have the same thoughts.

    It's been a week since the cutting incident now. Jason got his grades up so he is able to start on the football team tonight so the whole family is going. I still have to work on the musical sets after school but Molly came in the theater to check on me. She was already in her cheer uniform and she was probably getting ready to head out.

    "Hey Mi, how's the sets lookin'?" Molly asked.

    "Good," I replied shortly. "Going to the game?"

    "Yeah, me and Kristen are going out to eat right quick. Do you want to come or do you need a ride home so you can change for the game or anything?" Molly asked. She used to never offer this stuff. Now, she's a lot more mindful of everything. In some ways I do and don't like that.

    "I'm fine, I'll just walk over to the field when I'm done in a few hours," I told her.

    "You sure? I can pick you up something," Molly kept suggesting.

    "Molly go, I'll be fine," I said rather annoyed.

    "Well, sorry," she rolled her eyes before walking away and out of the theater. Not long after was when I received a text from my mom.

Mom: Picking you up in fifteen minutes.

    I got rather aggravated when I read this. I just wanted to be alone. Working on these sets were my me time. It's not that I didn't like being surrounded by my family, but it was nice to get lost in activity like this. The other people working on the sets never really bothered me too much until a few weeks before the shows which are not until November, and it was only September.

    I wrapped up what I was working on before heading out into the hallways of the school and out the exit where Mom was parked in the circle drive ready to pick me up. Threw my stuff in the back seat and got into the front. There weren't any of my siblings there which was kind of odd.

    "Where is everyone?" I wondered to her.

    "Molly is out getting dinner with some friends, Chloe gets done with dance in about an hour, everyone else is getting dinner at home before the game," Mom informed me.

    The drive from school to home was always short, however, longer than most drives the kids and my school have to take. We live just outside of the city away from everyone and everything. We arrived on our property and we were almost to the house, until Mom turned off the road and onto the grass where Dad had basically made a road that leads up to our small farm.

    "What are we doing?" I questioned noticing that she was driving past the farm and through more fields.

    She finally parked the car, satisfied with her surroundings, "I thought you and I would have a picnic."

    Both of us got out of the truck and she led us over to a huge oak tree that we decided to set our blanket under. Mom got out all of the food she packed in the basket, sharing everything with me.

    "So may I ask why we're having a picnic?" I asked.

    "It's a nice day out," she said popping a grape into her mouth. "It's another nice way to unwind and relax, to be somewhere calm and peaceful."

    "I like it," I nodded smiling as the cool breeze blew through my brown air, and being able to smell the freshly cut grass that Dad must have mowed recently.

    "Good," Mom smiled over to me. ''You know, your father and I have had many date nights right where we are sitting."

    "Really?" I asked sort of surprised. It wasn't every day that Mom and Dad shared stories like these. When they would, no one would really listen but me I feel like. They were special stories though. They always were because you could always tell how much it meant to them.

    "Really," she smiled at the thought. "We didn't always live here, ya know. Actually, we lived at our house in Brentwood up until Jason was one and I was pregnant with Molly."

    "Didn't you hate that house in Brentwood?" I asked remembering a few stories they shared about it from when I was younger.

    "Not necessarily," she shrugged. "It had a good run and got the job done. But the house just wasn't us. Both your dad and I are farm people, that's just how we were raised. We didn't like feeling so close to the city. We knew that when we had kids we would want them to have place like this."

    "How did you find this house?" I continued to question her.

    She responded with a giggle, "We found this within the first few months of our marriage. It was only some hilly land with a few trees here and there. There wasn't a house, there wasn't a farm, there weren't any roads or gates. We built it all. We spent many nights under this oak tree admiring the progress we had made. We still do go out here when we get to sneak out for a date night. It's just a great place to unwind and think and reflect on everything that has happened, you know. Every time I come here I remember your father and I laying underneath here dreaming out having kids and how they will be and how we would raise them."

    "Did you know you would have seven?" I joked.

    She laughed, "Not at all, but I'm thankful for each one. I don't regret any of it."

    I could tell this place meant a lot to Mom. There were a lot of memories for her here, all of them good. It was a big deal for her to show this to me. It made me want so badly to go through something like this with someone else. It made me think that someday I would find someone where we can dream of the things mom and dad dreamt of together. I wouldn't be able to do that if I wasn't alive though. That's why I chose life. I chose life so I could have a life like my parents had. I know it wouldn't be exact, but it could be close.