Adolescent

23.

They sent me home. Home. It seemed like an odd prospect, home. It didn't even feel like it anymore. But I guessed it was better than a hellhole of psychiatrists and antidepressants. Even if I was being forced to take my anxiety meds.

Everything even moderately sharp in the house was hidden from me. It wasn't as if I had the effort to look; I felt half dead all the time anyway. All I did was lay in bed all day. The medications sent me into a zombie-like state. I couldn't focus on anything, I didn't have the effort to do anything. The only things that kept me awake were the nightmares. I guess even the medicine couldn't suppress those.

I missed him. The longing for him sliced though the fog of the medicine and the numb haze underneath. And I hated myself for it. I hated that even he lingered in my nightmares. I hated how many times I'd called him just to hear his stupid voice on his voicemail.
"Hey, this is Aaron. If I don't answer this, I'm either ignoring you or I can't reach the phone. Good luck guessing which! Later!" His voice poured from the speaker on my phone. I grinned, remembering the first time I'd heard that recording. I remembered how I'd asked him if that was really the best one to use, and how he'd shrugged, casting it off as funny. We'd both laughed afterward.

Suddenly, the door to my bedroom slammed open. Nat stood there.

"Okay, Ro, I know you're hurting and everything, but you can't just stay in your room forever. You've been in here for two and a half fucking weeks, and you need to get out," she said - more demanded. "Sam's graduation party is tonight in the summer house in Weyers Cave, and we're going. And you can't say anything about it because I've already gotten it approved by all superior units."

"I'm not going." I stated, feigning a medicinal haze in my voice. In actuality, I hadn't bothered to take my meds that morning.

"The hell you aren't. I know you haven't taken your meds today. I checked. Now, are you going to get out of bed and shower willingly, or do I have to drag you?"

And that was how I ended up going to a party that I didn't want to go to in the first place.

****

Truthfully, the summer house was more in the backwoods of Grottoes than in Weyers Cave. Therefore, it was freezing when we got there at about six in the evening. I was happy I'd wrapped up in a long sleeved shirt, jacket, and jeans. Nat, however, was in a short, long sleeved dress. Needless to say, she was a little cold. But I was still the one shivering.

The tin-roofed house looked daunting. I'd been there hundreds of times, but this one was different. I hadn't seen the outside world in weeks. I still felt like shit. I didn't want to be there. Not to mention that I'd seen both Nick's and Hayden's cars parked outside. Along with tens of others. Sam had drawn quite the crowd.

Nat hurried the both of us inside, and I wanted to leave the second I stepped over the front ledge. There were too many people here. Too many staring eyes. Still, I followed Nat in, since I knew she wouldn't let me leave.

I headed straight for the kitchen, knowing Sam would most likely be there. He was, along with Hayden and Cade. All three of them stared at me like they were seeing a ghost. I greeted them, trying a grin. When they were still pretty much unresponsive, I left to find a place to be alone in. Might as well get comfortable ASAP.

I ended up perched on the roof. It was nice there; I could look up at the stars and didn't have to worry about the people down in the house.

Suddenly, my phone buzzed. I opened it, and the name tagged to the text of received made my heart speed up. Aaron. The text read, I'm here, Nat. Pick a place to meet.

He was here.

My lungs stopped working. I couldn't breathe. I could barely think. My heart was speeding at a mile a second. All that my body could comprehend was that he was here. The boy I loved, and the boy who hated me, he was here. I longed for him, but I couldn't face him. I wouldn't put either of us through that.