Adolescent

24.

The roof was my refuge, even if I just sat there cursing myself for what I'd done. It was better than the party. Anything was better than the party.

Ugh, I could've used a drink.

I ran a hand through my hair, turning my eyes to the stars. They blurred, and I realized I was crying. Stupid, stupid, stupid. What had I been thinking kissing him? What had I been expecting out of it? I knew that we wouldn't get back together, especially not because of one simple little kiss. Why was I so stupid?

I collapsed back onto the shingles. I held onto the pain that erupted in my back. It was like the sensation was the only thing that was keeping me sane. Sighing, I sat up.

Maybe I could go find Nat and ask her to take me home. Maybe she'd actually agree to. Maybe unicorns were real. I sighed, slinging an arm over my face. I'd do better walking home than asking anyone to take me. I'd be up on the roof all night.

I climbed back down, going down the same dark hallway I had before. A dark shape appeared at the end of it, and I kept tight to the side of the hall opposite it. I just hoped whoever was walking down the hall didn't notice me. They seemed to have a drunken gait, so that was probably very likely. As we crossed paths, I hurried past him (or what I discovered was a him), ducking my head down and trying to seem as small as possible when I did. It worked; he didn't seem to notice me. Now to somehow find Nat and/or escape out of the front door.

By some miracle, I made it down to the first floor undetected. The first floor, though, was also where the most people were. I'd have the most chance of running into someone that'd actually want to interact with me here. Hopefully everyone was too busy partying it up to notice me.

Unfortunately, luck just wasn't in the cards for me.

When I came upon the kitchen, the fluorescent light almost blinded me. People were still in there, but I wasn't going to check for Nat there. She probably wouldn't be there, and I didn't really want to run into Hayden nor Aaron again. So I steered clear of it, or at least attempted to. The only way to really make it around the biggest throng of people was to almost enter it.

Upon actually passing the kitchen, a big, clammy hand caught my arm. I jumped, letting out a screech. I ripped my arm from the person's grip, whirling to face them. Beside me stood Hayden. I took a couple steps back from him. He staggered - drunk.

"What the hell do you want?" I snapped. Tears filled my voice, and I suddenly noticed their warm presence in my eyes.

"Look, Ro, I'm sorry." he said, slurring every word. I couldn't take a drunken apology from him.

"Hay, I can't accept that. You're drunk. You won't even remember this." I said, wrapping my arms around myself.

His face fell, and he swayed forward - closer to me. One of his hands came up to cup my face rather tightly. His face was too close to mine, and when he spoke, the sickening tang of alcohol was all I could sense.

"Ro'anna, please." he pleaded.

"Hayden, I ca -"

His mouth came down roughly on mine. Surprised, I staggered back, tripping over my own feet and falling backward. My head cracked against the hardwood floor, and stars appeared in my vision. Hayden, ever the clumsy drunk, fell right on top of me. All the wind was knocked out of me, and a strangled gasp escaped my lips. He'd put his hands out to almost catch himself, and they landed on my stomach. His elbows followed. I groaned painfully. He was heavy.

Hayden tried to push himself off of me, but his hands were in my shoulders, so he was more pinning me harder against the floor than pushing himself up. I pushed against his chest with both hands. I tried to hell him go let me do the work, "Hayden, let me -"