Adolescent

8. From the Depths of Aaron's Journal #2

February 28

Roxanna and I had an official date today. We went to a steakhouse, then went to see the movie adaptation of If I Stay. It was actually a good movie. But the best part was by far holding hands with Roxanna the entire time. Some parts of the movie were confusing, only because Roxanna stared at the screen with a stony indifference and her grip on my hand tightened, then slackened back to normal. These were scenes that involved the deaths of the girl's parents. I've gotten to thinking, and realized that I've never actually heard Roxanna talk about her parents, even mention them in the slightest, only talking about her sister. I've asked mom about it, and she said that Roxanna's parents have been dead for less than a year, in an apparent homicide. This makes me wonder what else she's hiding away in that ragingly complex mind of hers.

March 02

I haven't seen her smile since the day I first kissed her. Literally. The girl never smiles. Just when you think she's about to, she bites her lip - her dimples nearly peeking into view - and looks down, usually at her hands, which are usually clasped in front of her like she's nervous. In reality, she's never actually nervous, she's just playing with her fingers. Or mine, when she manages to capture one or both of my hands. Which I kind of love. I love her love of holding hands and playing with my fingers. And, for some reason, the fact that her hands are always freezing cold. And the rings she always wears, and how she twists them when she's actually nervous. And how her fingertips are ridiculously rough from playing guitar.

I just realized I went from talking about her smile to talking about her hands. What the hell.

I've learned so much from just observing her and being close to her while on tour. It's only been two weeks since the wedding, and I already know so much about her. It's mostly been from reading her face. Even through her insane poker face. It's her eyes that give everything away. It's almost like I can read her thoughts through them. I have to read her eyes, though, because she'll deny everything if I actually ask her what's going on behind those eyes and that poker face. She doesn't usually talk about her emotions much less show and express them outwardly.

[Vid: "Say Something" - A Great Big World ft. Christina Aguilera. It's on the If I Stay movie sound track. I didn't check the video before adding it, so sorry if it's shitty. Vote/comment/follow if ya want. Angela]