Storyteller

Chapter 11

Tim POV:

Chris came and picked up Faith around noon, silently disappointed in her choice to come to me. She'll never tell Faith though. She's too good to her to even imagine scolding her. 

Faith and I spent a while rehashing the past, which hurt more than any wound could. Trying to describe when I started all this killed me... but I think describing major events that she has no clue about, hurt more. 

I can't help but think about how she was back then. I don't know the exact moment when she changed, but I know it happened in the blink of an eye. Part of me believes it was when Tug hurt her, but another part feels like it was after her father passed. Regardless, it's almost nice to have this version of her back... This driven, difficult, naive girl who I fell in love with twenty years ago. 

So, now I'm writing a song. My mind is running too fast for me to focus... I need to pull a few of the words away from that swirling vortex in my mind, and cage them in this piece of paper before me. That used to be my way of surviving before I learned how to use whiskey to numb me. I'm learning that the whiskey only does just that -- numb me. It doesn't solve the problems, it just hides them behind the temporary high, blurred eyes, and warmth. 

But this is more intimidating than any glass of alcohol on the planet. I just want to turn off the lights, write what I have to, and then stash it for no one, not even me, to see. I don't want to know what the words are. I just want them out and away. 

Temptation gets the best of me, so I pour a "small" glass of whiskey. I say small, because that's what I'm trying to convince myself of at the moment. 

I sit back in front of the paper again, now with a glass of courage. I take a sip and admire the burn in my chest. It feels so good...

I keep looking over my shoulder, as if Faith were watching me betray her. Guilt is definitely sitting beside me in this lone room, but I feel as if I have no choice. Faith's disappointment isn't stronger than this urge, which lets me know that this has gone too far. I love her more than anything on this planet, but I'm willing to risk her for a night's high... 

My hand quickly grabs the pen on the table beside the paper and scribbles down lyrics as quickly as I physically can. I pant, as if I were running suicides drills from line to line. My eyes are growing blurry, with what I suspect are tears. I feel detached from my body, as if I were watching myself write the words. 

"Baby, go on and do what you gotta do, I'll never be the man that you want me too. Just keep me somewhere in your young, wild memory and whenever you finally get to... wherever your heart leads, I hope you find someone to love and every dream that you dream of. I'm not the one you need and you know it. You're gonna leave, so baby, get going. I won't try to stop you anymore. Yea somewhere on the other side of that front door, I hope you find what you're looking for..." I write. I read the words, before throwing the pen on the table, and leaning back into the chair. My body trembles as I think more and more about it.

I finish my glass, and walk to the kitchen, this time returning with the entire bottle. 

I lay on the floor, watching the ceiling swirl above me, feeling more than nauseous. I contemplate running to the bathroom and puking, but I lack the drive to get up. I look at the empty whiskey bottle on the coffee table, making sure I'm not going to wind up with alcohol poisoning. 

"Daddy?" I hear Audrey's small voice pipe out, from near the staircase. I try to sit up a little too quickly, making my eyes spin. I lean against the couch, and squint at her. She's wearing her blue nightgown, her brown hair messily thrown into a braid, while holding her brown teddy bear. She looks a little horrified. 

"Yeah honey?" I respond, clearing my throat. The house is now bright, meaning it's probably morning. I've likely been on the floor for hours. She looks at the bottle, and then back to me, making me feel guilty. 

"Are you okay?" She asks cautiously, walking closer to me. She sits down beside me, leaning against my shoulder. I start to tip over, before grabbing the coffee table for leverage. She wraps her arms around my arm, hugging it tightly. 

"Yeah, I'm... fine..." I say, feeling lousy. I feel my stomach twist, causing me to rush to the sink, since the bathroom will be too far away. I heave, before hurling. My ribs hurt, as I hang over the sink, and try to rinse the taste out of my mouth. I gasp for air, my head pounding, and my eyes burning. 

I turn around, leaning against the sink, to find Audrey staring at me with her mother's eyes. She walks away, shredding my heart to pieces. I lay down on the couch, stumbling there. I pass out for a little while... 

When I wake up, Chris is shoving me, and slapping me. I sit up quickly, again feeling as if I sat up too fast. I sway from side to side as I try to steady myself on the seat. 

"How much have you drank, Tim?" She asks, sounding concerned, to my surprise. I look around to find all three of the girls staring at me in horror, and Faith standing beside them, talking to them with a sad smile. "Tim, focus." Chris says, patting my cheek. I push her hand away, missing it slightly. 

"A coup.." I slur, not able to spit the words out quite properly. She holds my head steady, as my stomach churns again. I try to push past her to run to the sink once more, but she holds me in position, leaving me no other choice but to puke on the floor. I look up at her, to see fear. 

"Tim, you need to go to the hospital." She says, causing me to shake my head. I try to stand, shoving her out of the way. I take a few steps toward the girls, hoping to be able to comfort them. I fall forward, slamming my head on the hardwood. The impact sends waves a pain through my skull, as Faith rushes to my side. "He needs to get help. Either we take him, or we call 9-1-1, and you know if we call the paparazzi will be at the hospital by the time he's in the ambulance." Chris starts to shout, as Faith slowly turns me over. I feel myself weep, which is strange. Am I seriously crying right now? 

"Tim, it's okay..." Faith says, swallowing hard. I shake as she runs her hands through my hair. I stare up into her eyes, feeling something in me flip like a switch. A calm comes over me, as she cracks a small smile down at me for sympathy's sake and kisses my forehead. 

That's when the worst wave of pain I've ever felt in my life hit me. I tense up, before clenching onto my torso. I start screeching, causing absolute horror in Faith's eyes. She quickly tries to figure out what's causing me pain. She lifts up my shirt where I'm clutching onto, and then freezes. She completely pales out. 

"Chris... Chris..." She starts to scream, covering her mouth. I start to feel cold, as Chris freezes over me too. She then runs for a phone, as Faith starts frantically crying, and touching me. "Tim, stay with me, alright?" She pleads, placing her hands on the sides of my head. My stomach begins to churn once more, and Faith sees it in my eyes. She turns me to my side, which hurts like hell, and lets me puke. She tilts me even further to the side, after I start making noises. Am I choking? She lays me back down on my back, and covers me with a blanket as I begin to shiver. "It's okay. Stay with me..." She says, rubbing my jaw. She opens up my eyes even more, and lets out a shriek. "Chris! His eyes are yellow..." She cries, causing Chris to cringe as she clings to the phone. 

I start to cough again, before Faith can turn me over, causing me to start choking. Faith quickly tilts me to the side, and pats my back. I cough, and manage to catch a glimpse of it. It's blood... There's blood everywhere... And a lot of it... 

"What's...." I start to shout, grabbing tightly to her arms. She shushes me, and tries to get me comfortable again. I feel a twinge of pain again. "Fuck!" I scream, squirming as if I could escape it. "Make it stop..." I spit out quickly.

I see Faith lean over me once more, before everything becomes heavy. It becomes nearly impossible to breathe, as Chris's voice becomes echoed. My eyes start rolling back, causing Faith to panic again. Her voice sounds as if she were speaking through an ultrasound machine, her voice in muffled waves. Before I can understand what she's saying, my eyes are shut. She's gone.