Storyteller

Chapter 30

Faith POV: 

I heard the doctors talking to Tim late last night while they thought I was asleep. They asked him how long he wanted to keep me going like this. They told him that I should go into hospice care, or an asylum. I can't disagree... I'm over here aiming at and shooting my husband for no reason... 

He refuses though, which kills me. I hate being like this... 

Tim's going to kill me, but Chris just told me that someone purchased the rights to a song I wrote a few weeks ago. She told me not to release it because it's far too personal, but I couldn't keep it, especially since I only have a while left...

On the first page of our story, the future seemed so bright... Then this thing turned out so evil... I don't know why I'm still surprised. Even angels have their wicked schemes, and you take that to new extremes, but you'll always be my hero, even though you've lost your mind...

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn... Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts. Just gonna stand there and hear me cry... Well that's alright because I love the way you lie... I love the way you lie

Now there's gravel in our voices, glasses shattered from the fight... In this tug of war you always win, even when I'm right, cos you feed me fables from your head with violent words and empty threats, and it's sick that all these battles are what keeps me satisfied...

So maybe I'm a masochist... I try to run but I don't wanna ever leave... Til the walls are going up, in smoke with all our memories...Just gonna stand there and watch me burn... Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts... Just gonna stand there and hear me cry... Well that's alright because I love the way you lie... I love the way you lie. 

The song took me only twenty minutes to finish, and it kind of flooded out of me while he was out one morning. I remember getting in the shower after finishing the song, and sobbing for what seemed like a century. 

"Faith?" He calls out, trying to wake me from my daze. He looks like hell in that hospital bed. "You know I love you, right?" He says with a smile, breaking my heart. I spare him a smile, before returning to my stare. 

Tim's been home from the hospital for two months now, and things are beginning to get back to normal. My memory, however, is failing me constantly. I keep waking up beside him afraid and confused, until I cool down in the bathroom and slowly figure out what's going on. 

I wrote a letter to Tim, and a few for the girls. I sat beside him in bed for four hours, making sure this was the right choice. I don't want him to watch me suffer, and I don't want him to beg me to stay. I'm at peace with my decision. 

He's still asleep. It's only five in the morning now, but I know I have to leave early. I tip toe in the room, and give him a kiss on the forehead. He slowly wakes up and smiles at me. 

"What are you doin' up baby?" He asks, placing his warm hand on my cheek. I smile back and give him a kiss on the lip, trying to remember how it feels. 

"I couldn't sleep, so I'm gonna go down and get some coffee." I lie, hoping he remains in bed. He stretches, before groaning, and shutting his eyes once more. "I love you." I say, running my hands through his hair. He smiles, his eyes remaining closed. 

"I love you too baby." He smiles harder after saying the words. 

"How much?" I ask, wanting to hear his voice as long as I can. 

"More than anything." He laughs a little, making me feel warm. 

"I love you to the moon and back." I whisper in his ear, giving him another kiss. 

"Can you leave a cup of coffee in the microwave for me for when I get up?" He asks, sounding exhausted. I smile, and nod. 

"Sure." I answer, as he starts to drift back to sleep. My chest hurts, as I slowly peel myself away from the room. My body tingles, as I look into the girls' rooms for the last time, kissing them all on the forehead, before walking down to the kitchen, and putting a cup of coffee in the microwave. I take a deep breath in, before walking toward the door. My hand hovers over the handle for a few moment, debating whether I should just forget it. 

I open the door and rush out to the truck, trying my best not to doubt myself. I drive all the way out to Center Hill lake, a good hour and a half away. The sun is just starting to rise as I pull up to the water front. I sit for a moment, and watch the watch ripples. I look at my passenger seat where the small revolver sits, fully loaded. 

I start to sob, feeling my chest ache. What are the girls going to do when they find out? Are they going to be mad, or are they going to understand? Is Tim going to understand? 

I pull out my cell phone, and quickly dial Tim's number. He answers pretty quickly, to my relief. He becomes anxious once he hears my cries. 

"What's wrong honey?" He asks, fumbling around with something in the background. "Where are you?" He begins to realize I'm not at home. 

"I need help..." I cry out, my stomach aching as I heave. 

"Where are you?" His voice becomes stern, as panic floods him. 

"Center Hill." I spit out, my throat feeling tight. He breathing grows heavy. 

"What's wrong?" He repeats. I sob harder, gasping for air between cries as I weep like a child. 

"I don't want to do this anymore..." I confess, wiping my tears with my forearm. He's silent for a moment, deciding what to say. 

"Baby, it's going to be fine. I'll come pick you, alright? Just hold tight." He says softly. I hear the truck starting in the background while he speaks. A sudden anxiety flows over at me, making me think I'm making a mistake by calling him. I can't keep living like this... I need to just do it... 

"Don't..." I begin to demand. "Please don't..." I plead, holding the pistol in my hands. He becomes uneasy. 

"Faith, listen to me. Just hold tight, and I'll be there in an hour tops. Please don't do anything..." He starts to beg. "Baby, I love you... Please don't do anything."

"I'm sorry. I love you." I release, my body aching. 

"Faith!" He screams as I hang up the phone. He calls back quickly, multiple times. I turn off the phone, and walk out to the water.

 I get in about waist deep, letting the waves hitting my stomach comfort me. One of my hands lays gently on the water, feeling the ripples, while the other presses the gun against my head. I take a deep breath, and look out at the tree line at the other side. 

"Three... Two... One..." I count down, before pulling the trigger. All the panic washes away, as I fall completely under the water. My body begins to flatten out, my stomach facing up toward the sky. Through the cold water, I can see the purple clouds rolling past, while the sky is bright pink and orange. 

I float for a while down here, at peace, before the light shining through the water's surface grows in intensity, and blinds me for a few moments. During those few moments, the feeling of floating vanishes, along with all feeling in general, except the sense of peace.