Storyteller

Chapter 31

Tim POV: 

I hold the wheel tightly in my hands as I get off the phone with 9-1-1. I try dialing her number multiple times after that, and wind up going straight to voicemail... 

I can't breathe... I can't believe I let her leave right in front of me... 

I speed on the highway, going somewhere around 100 miles per hour. My stomach churns as I begin to draw near the lake. She'll be okay... She's got to be okay... A officer positioned by the entrance to the lake tells me where officers are looking, and suggests that I try looking in another location to optimize the speed in which we can find her. He took my number just in case they find her where they're looking. 

Right after crossing the bridge over part of the lake, I spot her truck sitting back under the trees by a gravel lot. I quickly pull in, and jump out of the car, opening her truck door hastily. Her phone sits on the passenger seat, but there's no sign of her in there. I take a few deep breaths, my heart pounding. I run through the patch of woods that divides the road from the lake. I start to see the reflection of the sun beaming off of the water the longer I run. 

My heart sinks, as I see her washed up on the shore, soaked, and covered in blood. I rush to her side, slowly turning her over. I call 9-1-1 once again, praying there's something they can do. I start to cry, feeling helpless. She feels freezing to the touch, and her hair is wet and tangled. Blood runs down the side of her head quickly, from her large wound. I hold her close to me, trying to keep her warm. I tremble, as I start to feel short of breath. 

I start to sing to her. Maybe she can hear me... Maybe she can come back... 

"Dancin' when the stars go blue... Dancin' when the evening fell... Dancin' in your wooden shoes in a wedding gown... Dancin' out on 7th street... Dancin' through the underground... Dancin' with the marionette, Are you happy now? Where do you go when you're lonely? Where do you go when you're blue? Where do you go when you're lonely? I'll follow you, when the stars go blue... Laughin' with your pretty mouth... Laughin' with your broken eyes... Laughin' with your lover's tongue.... in a lullaby... Where do you go when you're lonely? Where do you go when you're blue? Where do you go when you're lonely? I'll follow you, when the stars go blue..." I sing, kissing her forehead. 

"I love you baby..." I repeat over and over again. "Please don't leave... Please..." I begin to plead. I hear the sirens in the distance as they grow louder. I brush her hair behind her ear, and kiss her on the forehead once again. "You're the world to me... I love you to the moon and back..." I repeat what see said earlier this morning. "I understand... if you want to go... Just know that I love you, and I'm sorry." 

At the hospital, the run reflex tests on her, as well as brain scans to see if it'll be beneficial to keep her on life support. I watch as she fails most of them, lacking reflexes and the ability to breathe on her own. They check her blood pressure and see that it's plummeting on its own. I watch the machine reading her mental activity remain flat. 

"Mr. McGraw, we think that it'd be beneficial to take her off life support now. Our tests show that her brain is dead, and unfortunately there's no way to bring it back." He tries to break to me easily. I narrow my eyes at him, and look back down at her. She doesn't look like herself... She looks so sick. I nod, and hug myself tightly, before reaching out for her hand and squeezing it tightly. I pull out her letter, and begin to read it while I hold tight to her hand. 

Dear Tim, 

I'm so sorry... I know no number of 'sorries' is going to repair what I've done, but I want you to understand that I'm at peace with this decision. I've been suffering for a while, and you've seen that. There's a point where one has to look back at their quality of life and make that critical decision. 

When it comes to the girls, make sure they know this was my decision, and that it was only because of my pain. If there was any other way to fix it, I would've done it, but there just simply was no other option. Let them know how much they mean to me, and tell them that I love them everyday. 

When it comes to you, please don't hate me. You have to know this decision was by far the hardest, and that I didn't want to leave you... Saying goodbye was the hardest part, but I just had no other choice. You're the love of my life, and the light of my life. I don't know what I'd do without you. We had our rough times, and we both made our mistakes, but we worked through it. This last while with you has been perfect... and I wouldn't change a thing between us, besides me being sick. You've made me so happy.

When it comes to the past, all if forgiven. You've paid your dues, babe. You don't deserve that guilt anymore. I'm so proud of you, and how far you've come.

I'm not going to lie or sugarcoat it, but I wanted you beside me as I went... I've always wanted that... But I had to do this, and I had to do it now. I knew you wouldn't allow me to do this right beside you, even though you always try to have my best interest in mind. You love me. I know that, and I love you too... It's just sometimes when two people are in love, they don't want to lose the other. But I'll be fine, I promise. I'm a big girl now, I can handle it. 

When it comes to the future, move on. Don't get hung up on what if's and what could've beens. Take care of the girls, and make sure they're happy. Maybe start dating again, and find a good girl who'll treat the girls like her own. Stay clean -- please. I trust you, and I believe in you. You're strong enough to make it through anything. You don't need a glass of 'skey to tell you that. 

I love you, 

-Faith