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Yesterday marked the 5 years since my cousin and my father were murdered. Oh to joy. The day was full of depressive Facebook post, awkward hugs from people, and looks of thoughts about leaving forever. Some how. Some way. No matter what I was thinking about yesterday it all lead back to him. His smile, his voice, his eyes, just him. I don't know how much longer I can take being a part from him. I need him to tell me everything is going to be alright. That I'm just overreacting. It seems that everything leads back to him. Everything reminds me of him. It seems like a bad romance movie where everything is dramatic. But I guess when you love someone everything can be dramatic..

On a side note, my mom found my mutilated leg and is threaten to send me to the crazy bin. The funny thing is, she doesn't seem to care until it makes her seem like a bad parent. Like she isn't doing her job. Lord forgive if her daughter self harmed or had any type of negative or sad feelings. Because we children have to be perfect in every way.