My collections

Hey there

The last entry was Feb 7th, 2017. It is now Dec 24th, 2019 (Happy Christmas Eve)

So much has changed.  I looked back on the previous chapters of this collection and I can't help but laugh at myself. 17 year old me was starstruck by a boy I met on the internet who never treated me good. Back then I thought I knew what love was. I thought it was about a guy who occasionally told you that you were pretty and would text you every once in a while. Over these last two years, I was able to truly discover what true love is like. True love isn't just about loving another, it's about learning to love yourself and everything around you. It's about learning to grow with someone and make a beautiful life with them. 

In my last entry, I talked about a guy named Ocean. He was my true first love, he was the one who taught me that life has so much more to offer than school and work. That there is a brighter side to everything (Brightside fuck me up). That it is possible to learn how to live with your demons while carrying on a life that is bright and beautiful. He and I grew together, as people and as a couple. We learned things about life that would have been difficult to learn on our own. We leaned on each other for support while taking the crazy roller coaster of living.

Unfortunately, things came to an end and he also taught me some not so happy things. He taught me that sometimes making sacrifices can really affect someone as a person. He taught me that compromises can only get you so far in life. He taught me heartbreak. He taught me that sometimes, love just isn't enough.

Now, I do not regret dating him at all. It was some of the best 3 years of my life. Full of love and adventure. I grew a lot as a person when I was with him. Sometimes you can only grow so much with a person. Not that we outgrew each other, we were just flowers growing in different directions, needing and wanting different things. I miss him dearly every day, but I feel in my heart that it was time for us to go live our lives for ourselves and not each other. I will always love him and he will always have a special place in my heart. 

It's time to do my thing and grow on my own. Work hard towards my goals and take care of myself. Take care of my 5 children (2 fur babies and 3 scaly babies). It's time to take a different approach to life and try to look at things from a different perspective. It's the time for healing and for success. I'm ready to live my life to the fullest. I wish Ocean nothing but the best and hope he can accomplish all of the goals he's striving for with nothing in his way. 

I'll try to update here more for the 10 people who used to read it, but I'm 21 now with a busy life. My insomnia has been insane lately so maybe you all will see more from me, but for now, I'll say see you later. Always strive for what you want and never let anyone tear down what you believe in.