misunderstood | stiles stilinski

Chapter Eighteen

Without a word I pulled him upstairs by his hand. We wouldn't have that conversation in the kitchen. I entered my room which still looked the same way I left it at the end of summer. It had a huge bed in the middle of one wall and a big flat screen tv across from it. I also had a walk in closet and my own bathroom here, but without any siblings I didn't care that I shared a bathroom with my mom at home. The walk in closet was nice though. I pulled Stiles towards the bed and made us both sit down.

"Okay." I let out a breath preparing myself for what would follow. I looked at him expectantly and he took my hand starting to play with my fingers before talking.

"I've had a crush on you since...probably the third grade." He started and I was shocked for a moment. I didn't realize, I always knew who he was and all but I didn't crush on him until the beginning of freshman year. "When Mr. Williams teamed us up together for the project I was so happy, but nervous at the same time... I hoped that we'd maybe become friends so I could spend more time with you. When I rang your doorbell, I was so nervous. And then you opened the door and were as beautiful as ever and your pretty eyes were looking at me and I just... I was whipped" He laughed lightly and my heart was melting again. This is the most beautiful thing someone has ever said to me. "And then we hit it off so well and when you fell down the bed..." I blushed at the memory, it was still embarrassing."And I felt like we had some kind of connection, I don't know...somehow everything felt so natural and you seemed to feel the same way and again I was over the moon. And then we kissed...I-I had never felt that way before and I never did afterwards, the way that this kiss made me feel like I'm in heaven and that sounds so cheesy and cliché but it's true." I knew what he was talking about, I had never felt that way again, not one of my following kisses felt like that."I didn't want to leave but I had to. I couldn't sleep that night, I was constantly thinking about your lips on mine and how I wanted to see you again as soon as possible. The next morning I was waiting for you at your locker but you didn't come...I didn't know what that was supposed to mean but maybe your first class had been canceled. Ryan was in my first class and he kept on talking about you and suddenly he said something about you and him together and how you came over to his house and ...he didn't say it concretly but...he basically said that you guys slept together." I was shocked, that didn't happen. Why did Ryan tell bullshit like that? I was about to say something but Stiles stopped me before I could "I know...It probably didn't happen and he was talking shit. He's had his eyes on you for quite some time too and my stupid self believed his stories...It broke my heart. I thought you had just played with me, that it maybe was some kind of bet between you and Ryan maybe. That you went to his house to tell him how you wrapped me around your finger... I was so mad at you and then when I saw you...You were looking so innocent and it made my blood boil. That's why I was so cold to you...I know I should've confronted you and I should've let you explain your side of the story but I was afraid I'd break down in tears infront of you and you'd just make fun of me. I know I was stupid for thinking about you that way." He stopped for a while letting everything sink in. Everything had been a huge misunderstanding and I started wondering what would've had happened if Ryan would have kept his mouth shut. "And when you came back the beginning of this year...I was shocked to say the least. I thought you'd stay here in Salt Lake City until you graduate or something but there you were even more beautiful than I remembered and you had the decency to scold Malia and me and I was... I don't know I was still hurt I guess. And that coming form you who had slept with Ryan, yes I still believed that back then, it just seemed hypocritical. So I just ...I'm sorry for offending you. I just didn't know what to do and you kept on telling me I was an asshole and I just didn't know why. You had no right to call me an asshole, I thought. I did nothing wrong. And then at that party you were with Ryan again and I was so angry. You probably came back to be with him."Stiles ran his hand over his head and he seemed upset. "When we were bowling and he followed you to the bathroom I...I kind of had a feeling what he was about to do and I just wanted to know if...if you were okay with it. I thought maybe, if you didn't want this now you didn't want it then and I don't really know what I was thinking but I'm glad I followed him. I don't know what he would've done if I hadn't been there and I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself if he had...you know?" He looked at me with wild eyes and I just nodded. I knew what he meant. If he hadn't been there it would've probably ended horribly for me. "And then you went back to him at Lydia's party and I kept on thinking why? Why do you keep going back to him when he treats you so horribly wrong? What is it about him? Is it his good looks? His money? And then I just spilled my guts out to you and because I was drunk I didn't really care back then ...But believe me when I tell you now. I meant every word I said. I care for you and I was in love with you and...to be honest I think I still am." He looked at me and I smiled widely. He showed me that he cared when he drove me hundreds of miles to see my father, but him telling me that he was possibly in love with me...that was a surprise. "Anyways," He looked back at our hands with which he was still playing. "Afterwards I regretted it. I thought you were thinking of me as a fool. You weren't looking at me at all that week and you kept on avoiding everything that had to do with me so I thought that I had made everything awkward between us. So I told you to foget about it. And that I didn't mean it. Which was  a complete lie. But at our camping trip I realized that maybe...there was possibly a slight chance of you liking me. And I started to realize that I was probably wrong about you. And I thought about how Ryan could've just lied that day. He would do shit like that." He stopped again for a moment thinking before starting again. "Do you know why Malia and I broke up?" He had a slight lobsided smile on his face and I shook my head. "I kept on talking about you. Not in a nice way, because of obvious reasons, but I talked about you all the time and Malia was getting annoyed. She was jealous, too. And I told her she didn't need to be. But she broke up with me. And later on I realized what she had all along. I was still not over you. And you creeped your way into my head and at one point you were all I was thinking about." He let out a long breath. He was finished with his speech and I was overwhelmed and speechless.

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