Illegal Love (Louis Tomlinson fan fiction)

Alive.

Molly's Point Of View

I sit in my room, feeling dull. Not tired, not cranky, just dull. The world passes by me in a whirl and I watch from the sidelines. I feel nothing. My heart doesn't beat. My world doesn't spin. I'm just there. One of the coaches on the sideline of the football game that no one knows the name of and not even the players pay attention to. The emo in school that wears black and hoods and stands in the corner of the darkest hall -- the one that no one cares to even acknowledge. I'm that one bird that sits on the tree all day, watching the world, the people walking around, and the dogs running free, the children laughing, but I don't understand. I'm an alien species that can see the girls and boys and moms and dads mouths moving, but I don't hear anything or feel anything anymore.

I've been sitting here ever since that one guy came to visit me a few days ago. It might've been days. Or weeks. Or months. But, if it was months, I'd probably be dead by now, not that that makes much of a difference. I'm dead anyway, or, at least, I feel that way.

God, what was that guys name? It was a sexy name. A French...ish...I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. My brain is done, it's so overloaded with all this extra shit that I cant access, but I want to know. It's just out of reach. I can feel my fingertips brush against it. It's soft and it's happy and I want it so bad. I crave it like a desert craves water and the Earth craves the Moon.

Logan! Yep! No. Lonnie. Lonzo. London. Louis! Yes! I turn my phone over in my hands, glancing briefly at the long scratch on the back. I'm not sure how that happened. It's too long for just a drop, but I don't know what else it would be. My thumb hovers over the little W before I press it and start reading where I left off, hoping I'll feel some sort of emotion. Ceci told me this was my favorite book and I would cry a lot during it, but so far I haven't.

The main character doesn't feel a thing, either. I like her already. She gets convinced by her roommate to go to a party. A party.

A party.

And she feels alive.

I immediately go to the little G. I type into Google "closet motorbike sales". There's one in my price range not too far from here. I call up Ceci and get dressed, ready to feel something.

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"A motorbike?" she asks me. I nod, sliding into her car and showing her the address. "Is this really the best idea out there?"

I nod softly, quickly changing my mind and shaking my head. "But it'll work. I swear. I just...I need this more than you'll know." She nods hesitantly and drives in silence.

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"Are you absolutely sure?" She asks for the umpteenth time.

I roll my eyes and nod. "Do you wanna come?"

She shakes her head. "Please, Molly, just call me when you get home, safely, 'kay?" Ceci repeats. I nod again.

"Yes, Mummy. Now get out of my way!" I playfully shove her before swinging my leg over the seat and lowering down onto the leather seat.  She steps back, biting her lips. I send her a warm smile before starting the engine and zipping off.

What's the worst that could happen?

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Once nightfall comes, I assume that I should head back home, but, me being me, I forgot the way. The motorbike worked, miraculously. The wind in my hair and the cool sting of the icy bullets of rain awaken my senses and speed up my heartbeat. My eyes widen as they take in the bright lights of wherever this is. The cars honking at me and me going way above the speed limit make my ears wake up and the danger lurking in the shadows, always watching me, forced me to work quickly and nimbly.