Under The Mask

Chapter 4

The tears start to swell up in my eyes straight away with the stinging sensation still burning my scalp and the horrible comments swirling around my head were true. Why did I trust Louis and Harry? They clearly saw it coming but didn’t even do anything to stop it. They probably asked someone to do it. That’s why I don’t need friends; they never look out for me and are just more interested in themselves. I’ll just sit on my own at dinner in some corner, or maybe in music if I’m allowed. I could just play piano and guitar whilst I eat my dinner and see if I can compose any music.

I run to the front door of the college and burst out through it, not giving a care in the world for whatever is on the outside. I run along the path with flowers on either side, brightly coloured purples, blues and yellows capture my eyes through the watery mess. I feel like just crouching up in a corner but home isn’t too far away so I decide to try to get back there before I just jump onto my bed and cry my eyes out.

I see the front gate and dash straight out of it, running across the road and down the street trying to find my way back. I run as fast as I can, just like I had practiced in the past even though I know this time that there is nobody behind me. I take a quick glance over my shoulder just to check to see if I am right, and I am. There is nobody behind me. I slow down a little, giving myself a chance to breathe.

The tears are still flooding down my reddening cheeks, and the burns all over my scalp and the side of my face already begin to swell and blister a little. I touch the side of my face ever so gently with the tip of my index finger, but pull away quickly as I feel the hot substance still erupting all over my face, sending a searing pain through my body. I don’t want to, but I take my cardigan off and dab my face with it, trying to get as much of the lasagne off as possible.

After two minutes of sorting my face out, I start to walk back home with the now stained cardigan in my right hand, and my bag slung loosely over my left shoulder. My tears have begun to slow a little. A slight breeze catches my face which cools the burning sensation down a little. The journey seems to take longer than it did this morning, but I’m home now and the simple sight of my house seems to bring a small, inconceivable smile across my face.

I walk up to the front door and open it, edging in slowly and quietly before making my way up to my bedroom. On the way, I stop in the bathroom and have a look at myself in the mirror. I look horrific.

I understand why those people would want to burn me; my face is hideous as it is. I don’t look good whatsoever, in fact, I look horrible. I hate my look and it’s one of the reasons I dyed my hair blonde. I mean, it looks better, but not much better. I still look ugly, horrible, unattractive… the list just goes on for miles.

I search the cupboard for a flannel and dampen it with cold water. Slowly, and ever so carefully, I bring it to my face and softly tap my face, wincing with pain after each little touch. The pain is excruciating. It feels like somebody slamming a red hot poker to your face and keeping it there, pressing down harder and harder with each passing second. At least this will cool down any blistering and it feels strangely good through the pain. I deserve the pain, but I don’t deserve to be at college. Even though I did really well with my GCSEs, I’m not good enough for college.

“Niall darling? Is that you?” I hear my mum shout. Ugh, I was hoping she wouldn’t realise that I’m back. All I want to do is go into my room and snuggle up on my bed, alone, as usual. A slight knock on the door is all I hear before a large gasp. “Wh-What happened baby?” My mother sympathetically takes the flannel from my hand and looks at my face.

The expression in her face automatically sends disappointment and shame flooding through my body. “Here, let me do that for you.” She starts to dab my face with the cold flannel, occasionally wiping it in the freezing water I left trickling from the tap. Even though the burns hurt, they feel somewhat relieved from the flannel so I begin to relax a little.