20 ○ shawn

14

New York, 3:30 pm 

February 27, 2015

reason #10: just...talking 

"Finally, you're here!" Shawn complained as the petite figure of Layla approached him and sat down beside him. "I thought you were going to ditch me." 

"It's been thirty minutes since school ended," Layla pointed out and giggled, nudging Shawn's shoulder with her own. "It takes me a while to walk here, okay?" 

Shawn sighed, disappointed, "You know I can just pick you up after school, Layla. Why didn't you call me? Something might have happened to you." Layla smiled a little and looked in front of her, watching the brick building built there. He cares, she thought, he cares about me.

"Well, nothing did, Shawn." She pointed out the obvious, "You know, you gotta stop thinking about the negativity laced behind a situation. I know that's easier said than done, but still." 

Shawn shrugged, "Whatever. So, what's the next reason?" 

Layla averted her eyes to Shawn's and smiled. "Reason number ten: just...talking." He raised an eyebrow curiously and slightly unamused. Secretly, he was hoping for a reason that was more intense and had more action than just moving his lips. "What? You have the ability to speak, so why not use it? Plus, I'm tired and I want to just talk to you." 

He sighed, giving in, knowing that she was going to be persistent anyways. "Alright, fine. We'll just talk." He mumbled, "What are we going to be talking about?" 

"I need to know more about you, Shawn. I need to know why you're always so pessimistic, and why you think you're worthless, and why I met you when you were about to jump off this building on New Years." Layla demanded, pushing her glasses up her nose bridge, sending Shawn a look of desperation, hoping that he would answer him. 

Shawn noticed how Layla had wrapped her arms around herself, clutching onto her upper arms tightly, trying to consume her warmth due to the cold breezes that blew towards the two. The snow has melted, but the air was still lingering with winter. 

"Well," he huffed, and lifted his arm, slinging it over Layla's shoulders and bringing her body towards his tightly. She was shocked by the motion but didn't push him away. "You know depression; you can't really just control not having it. It just happened, and all of a sudden, I just hated myself and mostly everyone around.

"New Years was the night I was supposed to be gone - away from this world. But then you came with your bubbly attitude which, by the way, annoyed me a lot, to be honest." Layla let out a laugh but didn't say anything as Shawn continued. "And then you offered some better ideas on how to kill myself instead of telling me not to do it...and I became slightly intrigued by you." 

"Is that why you called me back?" 

"That's why I called you back." Shawn confirmed with a nod, "But anyways, you offered to help me with twenty simplistic reasons, and here we are now. Thanks to you, I have some reasons to live; at least my mind is neutralized now." 

"What do you mean?" 

Shawn paused, collecting his words before sighing again, "I can think of a hundred ways to die and a hundred ways to do it, but I can't think of a hundred ways to live or a hundred ways to do it. So sometimes I just lock myself away for hundreds of hours and hundreds of days, and try not to think at all." 

Layla connected her eyes with Shawn, a small frown on her face as Shawn continued, "But then you came into my life, the total opposite of me - happy and enthusiastic - offering to help me, and I just couldn't find myself to say no...and so here we are now."

Layla hummed, taking her bottom lip between her teeth for a brief second, "And do you regret ever watching the sunset with me?"

"No." He shook his head quickly, still looking into Layla's brown eyes. "Not even a single bit." 

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short update! sorry!