A Selfish Kind Of Love

Vitiligo

~Rayne's POV

"So how was the tour, you've got so much to catch me up on!" I grin, handing him a glass of water. I honestly was so upset with him I blocked him out of my life, none of his music played and anything about him on television was turned off. I wanted nothing to do with him.

"The tour only lasted about 6 months. I cut it short.. Well, we cancelled it. The brothers didn't want to, but I told you I had plans for myself." He shrugs, taking a sip of his water. "So how about you, what's happening with you?" He asks. "I'm an artist.." I say hesitantly. Artistry is not a good job field because no paycheck is promised, but I do it for the enjoyment. There is a sense of peace of mind and security in every paint and pencil stroke.

Michael nods, "I see you still live here." He smiles. "No.." I chuckle, "you actually caught me in a visit. I live in Northern LA now." I smile proudly. Moving out was my greatest accomplishment, knowing my dad, he'd support me til I'm 106. Michael raises his eyes, clearly surprised at me. "Wow, well I'm in the process of looking for a huge space, when I get back from my next tour, I can have a home to come to." I nod approvingly, grabbing his empty glass. I could feel his eyes watching my every move as I shuffled around the kitchen. I turn back towards him to a silly smirk on his face. "What?" I grin.

"I really missed you Ray.." He smiles.

"...I missed you too Mike." I say softly. He reaches across the counter grabbing my hands, leaning over to plant a small kiss on my lips. "I want us back." He says. I sigh, "you have to give me time.." I say shortly. "I'm still not sure if I trust you enough. I gave you a lot of me Michael and it hurt when you just left me like that. How am I supposed to know if you won't do that to me again?" I ask. He nods giving me a reassuring look. "I won't, I promise." He knows I'm not gonna just take his word for it. I've never been that kind of girl. I simply respond, "I hear you."

He clears his throat, knowing that this conversation will not go his way. "How is your dad? Still healthy I hope." He says, releasing my hands. "He's great." I reply. "And your mom? If you've spoken to her.." He says reluctantly. "She died last year." I respond quickly. "What?!" Michael practically yells. His face filled with worry. "Are you-" "I'm fine." I say cutting him off. He sits and thinks for a while, "did you go to her funeral?" I scoff, "of course not. Dad did."

"Rayne." He says, his mouth gaped open. "What?" "Why didn't you go?" He folds his arms. "I'm not sure if you remember but my mother and I were not the best of friends." He reserves his comments to himself. "So how long are you in town?" I ask him. "About a week, then I'll be back in New York for a while." "Oh." I reply quietly. In my mind, that means he's gonna disappear on me again. I make sure not let myself get wrapped up in my emotions. I refuse to be hurt like that again. "I was actually hoping you'd come with me." He says quietly.

"Excuse me?" I retort, my eyes wide with confusion. He simply watches my reaction, waiting for an answer. "I can't just leave for New York Michael."

"Why not? What do you have to do here?"

"My dad for one!"

Michael rolls his eyes, "you're dad will be fine without you for a week. I promise you'll be well taken care of."

I think for a second, it's been a while since I've traveled. Last time I left the state, I went back to Detroit to my best friend Derrick's wedding. I give a long defeated sigh. "Only a week?" I ask. "Just a week." He assures me, his hands up in a surrendering pose. "Fine." I agree.

He released a wide smile and stands to hug me closely. "This way we can work on us.." He says. I mutter, "Michael.." He kisses my forehead and turns to leave. "We leave in a week." He smiles. I lean on my doorstep,  watching him walk back to his mother's house. This was not gonna be a cake walk.

~Michael's POV

Just the thought of Rayne and I on that first flight to New York excited me. I wanted to be serious about her, but I understood why she didn't trust me. Rayne has never been the kind of girl to forgive easily, without putting up a fight, at least. I walk back into my mother's house and run into Joseph. He clears his throat as I walk past him. "Can't speak boy?" He grumbles. "Hello Joseph." I say, annoyed continuing my walk to my old room. I hear Joseph's footsteps following behind mine, I grew closer and closer to my room before he grabs my attention. "You know, that runs on my side of the family.." He says. I stop in my tracks. "That vitiligo that you have. One of my cousins have it." I turn to face him, giving him a small nod before shutting the room door between us.

It's been so long since I've been in this room. I chuckle at the posters of Diana Ross and Elizabeth Taylor on the walls. I stare at myself  in the mirror, unhappy with myself. "Ugh" I grimace. I stand there loathing myself, wishing I could change more and more about myself. Why do I look so much like my father? I think, removing my clothing for a shower.

The water cascades over my body, stripping the leftover residue of make up that covered my pale spots. I scrub harder, praying these spots were just stains that would wash off. I feel my tears well up in my eyes, my vision already cloudy from the shower fog. I truly hated myself. I don't see how any female can find me attractive, but I was named one of the sex symbols of the 80's. I scoff at the memory of receiving that news.

I shut my eyes, once my head hit the pillow, I allowed to let my mind wander into dreams clutching onto my mind.

***
I answer a small knock at the door. Rayne stood there, the sun hitting those lavender colored eyes beautifully, as her perfectly shaped lips formed a small smile.

"Well aren't you cute.." I chuckle, scanning her floral print dress that hugged all the right curves.

"You want breakfast?" She asks, pushing her short curly hair behind her ear. I raise my eyebrows, completely surprised at her question. "Uh.. Sure, I just need to call Bill." I respond. "Bill?" "My bodyguard. It's gotten a lot harder to travel with me since the last time we've been around each other." I explain nervously. "Oh." She says, walking inside. "Good morning Mr. And Mrs. Jackson." She says politely walking past the kitchen, following me. My mother gives her a sweet smile, Joseph simply grumbles a subtle "hi" behind the newspaper. I shake my head, he is so rude to her and I can't understand why.

Once Bill escorts us safely to a small restaurant, I grab a chance to talk to Rayne about our trip. I watch her as she shuffles her fork through her scrambled eggs. "Did you think about New York anymore?" I ask. She sighs, "not really.. I said I was going. I just want to be clear, this is not to work on us. I'm only going to be there for support." She says waving her finger around. She covers the side of her face with her hand. "God how do you live with these cameras in your face? Go away!" She groans through the window. I reach out for hand again, causing my sleeve to rise. She smiles, my thumb running across her knuckles. "I want you to be comfortable in New York, enjoy every moment of it." "I know and I'm sure I- what's that?" She frowns viewing my pale spots. I clear my throat, my anxiety rising slowly. "That's the skin disease. It's called.. vitiligo."