A Selfish Kind Of Love

Advice

~Rayne's POV

The whole night, I was awake, crying my eyes out. I even called Sharlissa, hoping she'd have some kind of answer for me.

"I don't know what to do." I sniffle. "Why would he do that to me?"

"Rayne I'm so sorry that happened. You know he loves you, which is probably why he held out on you in the first place."

"That doesn't make it right. He had the nerve to ask me if I would marry him!" I scoff.

"Wait, he proposed to you?"

"Not necessarily.." I sigh. "He told me that if none of this happened, he was going to propose. But after he... Did what he did, he didn't buy the ring."

"If he'd have proposed... Would you have?" Sharlissa asks.

"If you'd have asked me last month, I wouldn't have a doubt. Now, I can't even be near him." It breaks my heart to even say words like this about him. "I'm coming home tomorrow. Will you pick me up from the airport?" I ask, holding back more tears.

"You're leaving?? No way, have you even talked to him? Like honestly talked to him about this? Or did you just shut down and tell him you don't wanna talk about it, like you usually do?"

I sigh, I know I never really spoke with him. I was so mad I didn't care what he had to say. "I shut him down." I mutter. "I'll go talk to him and if it goes well enough, I'll stay."

Sharlissa wishes me good luck before I hang up. I open the door, sluggishly dragging my feet towards Michael's room. I rub my dry, red, post-crying eyes and knock softly on his door attempting not to wake the rest of the concert staff on this floor.

I prayed silently that he was sleeping and didn't answer the door, just so I could tell Sharlissa I tried. But of course, he opens the door, looking like he'd been up all night as well. I didn't know what to say to him, and neither did he. He simply allowed me in, closing the door behind me.

"Um.." He says quietly, running his hand through his curls. His eyes follow me cautiously, watching me move around the room.

"I wanna talk. Like actually sit and listen to each other. I thought about it... And I never gave you a real chance to explain yourself." I turn to him, crossing my arms.

Michael sits on his bed, his head in his hands. "I really don't have an explanation for what happened Ray. I can't deny it, I can only tell you everything." He says, staring at me.

I take a seat at the table opposite the bed, "ok.. So what happened?" I ask shakily, preparing my mind for the worst.

"The first time anything happened, it was after the video shoot. She came to my room and-"

"This was when I was sitting in the room and you told me, we couldn't go out because you had something to do?" I interrupted, my eyes already becoming glossy.

"...yeah" he responds quietly. I scoff before he continues. "She came to my room, we drank a little and we got a little physical. But, I couldn't do it. You were literally all I could think about and I told her to leave. That's why I came to your room." I couldn't believe him, I was so angry, I wanted to storm out right then and there. But I told him we'll talk.

"Do you have feelings for her?" I ask. "No" he responds. "Rayne, I love the hell out of you, and I know I've said this 20 times but I never want to hurt you."

"But you did."

"I know and I'm sorry. But don't give up on us like this. Don't just leave me."

"Michael, I don't wanna give up on us at all. But we're back at square one. I don't trust you. You waited so long to tell me. Which is why I'm so angry. Things were going so well with us. You don't need to hide things from me. We're not kids anymore, I won't get mad every time something happens."