The Scrambled Philosophies That I Call Thoughts

Just started writing and didnt look back

I am writing this because I haven't written in awhile. I'm writing this because there's a storm outside and it's winter and frankly, it's the most depressing weather ever. I'm writing this because I want to tell that to my friend, but the weather is depressing and I should be feeling something, but I don't, and I'm numb and haven't written in awhile...so now I'm writing this. I can hear the rain on my windowsill, and my guest just left. I'm not that happy that she came, and I don't dislike her. I'm just numb. I don't know, maybe I'm tired, but it's 4:21pm and it would be inefficient to sleep; I can do that when I'm dead. So now it's 4:22, and I'm writing, and I'm numb, and I cut my hair because I could. And it's 4:23 and I'm writing and I'm numb, and I'm contemplating on whether I should publish this or not. It's 4:24 and I just rejected a phone call and closed my blinds. It's 4:25 and my friends are fighting and they don't realize how it affects me. It's 4:26 and I won't call them selfish because I don't show how I feel, and we all have our own problems to focus on. It's 4:27 and I was supposed to go to a sleepover today but I didn't even bother asking because I'm already turning out the lights. It's 4:28 and I'm not sure if I wanna talk to no one or anyone. It's 4:29 and I think I'll cry now, but don't worry...I'm fine, because it's 4:30.