Let Me Sink!

For People Like Me

I constantly wonder if anyone is like me. Are they broken like me, are they in pain? I guess I'll never truly know but this...this is for those people who might just be like me.

I have a tendency to stay up all night listening to music that reminds me of my current situation. I hide my fears, hurt, pain and tears under my smiles and laughs on a daily basis. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I pray for things to work out just once and that I'll be satisfied. I scream and cry into my pillow because the rest of the world fails to listen. I have it hard but don't let anyone know that. I may never have it easy. I have so many secrets but will never tell a soul. I have regrets and mistakes as a daily moral. I don't always win, I might never win. I stay up all night thinking of that boy, wondering if he'll ever notice me. I get what I get and don't throw a fit about it. I take life as it comes, hoping it will get easier somewhere down the road. I love with all my heart but it always returns broken.

I am a real person with real problems but I'll never show what I truly am. Not so that I can be judged and teased more than I already am. Why would I want to break myself down more? I didn't ask for this kind of life, for this torture but it's what I've been given. So I'll take it and pray constantly that things get better, even though I know they most likely won't. People will always tell you that things will get better but I don't think they truly understand. How do they know that? The truth is they don't, they are just saying this to try and comfort you. In reality this is their polite way of telling you to 'suck it up!' They don't understand the pain I'm going through, they never will. Yes they may experience a similar loss but it doesn't mean they understand. Everyone is different, everyone deals with things differently, so naturally everyone is not going to fully understand anyone else. It's just the way life is.

Life is life, and that's tough. Things get harder and for some they may get stronger but others become weaker. Falling weaker and weaker until finally they seem like a lifeless being who just sits around with their emotions bottled up, hidden from prying eyes.