Let Me Sink!

Dear You||Part 2

Dear You,

You know what I thought we were closer than this! I'm so sick and tired of putting up with your sh*t. I knew after you betrayed me the first time that you'd never change. I knew we'd never be the same, our friendship well it was in ruins. But now, well now it's just blown to bloody pieces! And don't sit there and pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about and don't pretend like you don't know that this letter is to you. You know exactly who you are!

I'm stuck questioning everything now. Was everything you ever said a lie? Have you always been like this? Was I just to blind too see it? My ex-friend warned me about you but I just brushed her off as a being a jealous b*tch. Was that a mistake? You know what I don't even know anymore. You clearly think everything is fine though, well guess what....IT ISN'T!!!!

You tell me nothing now, lie to me still and worse of all, you create rumours. I honestly don't care if you make rumours about me, that I can handle but the second you go after one of my friends that's when I'll turn into your worse freaking nightmare! I hate the fact that you talk about people behind their backs, especially when you are supposed to be friends with said person. You put words in people's mouths and in any situation you make sure to paint yourself as the innocent. Well I know your anything but innocent! You can put on that dumb act for your parents, the rest of your family, complete strangers or even for that new stupid guy you like but it ain't working around me. I'm not that stupid, maybe I was stupid to put my trust in you but I've learned now. So I guess that's the only thing I can thank you for, you just taught me another life lesson. But problem with that is you just helped me build my walls higher. And you exactly what I'm talking about. I build walls to protect myself from getting hurt, well you just made them higher. Congratulations👏🏻

Once again right now if your reading this you are clearly thinking I hate you but you know what I don't. I don't really hate anyone, I might say I do but I could never really hate someone. Hate is so strong, it's something you really cannot taken back. So no I don't hate you, but truth is I don't know what you are to be anymore either. Your not really considered a close friend anymore, instead just a friend or maybe even just an acquaintance. And knowing your drama queen personality that probably hurts you and makes you want to cry but you brought this all upon yourself. So maybe if you want me to forgive you then just give me some damn space! Give me time and space to finally figure out my bloody mess of a life. Because yeah it's messer than you think, it's 'f-ed' up. I might in time forgive you but I'll never forget and we'll never be the same so don't ever expect that.

I think I need to stop writing because I've already broke myself down more by finally admitting that this is hurting me so much! It pains me to know that this friendship clearly doesn't mean that much to you, if it did you'd have treated it differently. It hurts to know that you didn't trust me enough and it hurts to know that you'd rather a boyfriend over a friend. Here's a fact for you honey: boyfriends leave, boyfriends cheat, boyfriends don't understand you like friends do. So why choose a boyfriend over a true friend? I don't see the point. And in truth I think the whole 'date when your 12-13ish' is ridiculous! What's the point?! It's not gunna last and it's not even real. You may think it is but honey it's really not. It's just a fantasy, some fictional romance. And I know I'm not one to talk about fictional romances because hey, I'm in mental relationships with fictional characters but at least they are there for me. That's something I can't say about you.

I need to stop now, it hurts me to do this to myself. And in truth it hurts me that I have to tell you and point all this out in this way. I just hope that if you do read this that you take all the words to heart. Actually think them over and realise there is more behind them than what meets the eye.

'I thought'....guess that's where I went wrong. Thinking that you were actually worth my time.

Sincerely
Annoyed. Angry. Broken. Depressed. Hurt.