Let Me Sink!

Stages of Falling Apart

A/N :Taken from my other book 'One Shots'

Everything seems to be falling apart. My world is crumbling beneath my feet. Soon there will be nothing left, just a large black hole that swallows me completely.

Do you know how it feels to slowly watch your world begin to fall apart? Everything you hold dear, everything you've grown to love, just begins to break into pieces. No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try to fight it and stay strong...you can't. It will all creep up on you until you have no choice but to let everything out. Everyone deals with things differently so they say, well my way was to bottle everything up. Hoping that if things got better it would be a large weight being lifted off my shoulders. What I didn't know was that it could also drag you down, until breaking point. Bottling everything up until finally, the bottle cracks and everything slowly pours out.

Then once the bottle cracks and feelings, mixed feelings, begin to flow out-that's when the destruction begins. You destroy everything around you, and not in the psychical sense. You push your friends and family away, they can't stand the way you act now. Slowly over time everyone leaves, no one sticks around to try and help. No one tries or even cares enough to try and save you, comfort you in this time. I'm always in this stage of falling apart, I loose everyone and destroy everything I hold dear. I'm like a hurricane, it seems my purpose is to just destroy.

After that stage, well that's when you begin to realise what you've done. You finally see the damage you've caused, all the lives you've hurt and all the hearts you've broken. You take a step back and see broken people, a broken town, a broken world. Everything and everyone now seems broken to you, nothing is whole anymore. Even your heart, it's black now just like your soul.

Slowly everything will go black, the void you've created will swallow you whole. There no going back from this stage though, this is the final step. Once you go into that void your life doesn't end although you wish it would. No your still alive and still very able to destroy things. In fact that becomes your only purpose, your only mission-to destroy. To everyone else it's like your here but your not really here, your mind is constantly elsewhere. No one wants a broken person, just like no one wants a broken toy. So yes, that deep dark black void becomes your new and only home. The only place the demons in your head are quiet, the only place you feel you belong now.

Falling apart comes slowly for most, it's all gradually over time. Not for me though, I went though all these stages in a matter of days. I'm sitting in the black world I created, watching people I love and who once loved me pass by everyday. I'm a lost cause they say, no one can fix her. Now I see things clearer, I see the truth behind their eyes. People say I see the worst in others and not the best. They're right, I see the true nature of people, all I see are the jet black hearts that they refuse to let show. Well I show mine, my heart is black and so is my soul. I've fallen apart completely.

Swallowed by a dark black hole, searching for a way back home.....