Forbidden

Chapter 17

17

 

“Your leg looks better,” a sour voice came from behind me, startling me.

I jumped and hit my head on my locker.

He, in fact, should not have startled me, what with my superior wolf hearing and sense of smell. I guess I got so lost in my own tumultuous thoughts to bother about anything around me anymore.

“I think so, yeah,” I agreed with Randel, and watched his eyes linger on my leg.

Today I was wearing another one of my dresses that had been a lazy choice for me while my leg was broken. This one was a baby pink silk and crafted so skimpily that it crossed over my spine in a sharp knot, hanging loosely on my body, while still accentuating what little curves I had and baring more skin than I would wish to show.

My mother had picked it out this morning when I woke up. Her excuse was, “look a little girlier for once Misha” and then she proceeded to confiscate my knit cap.

My knit cap was my security blanket. It shielded me from the worse parts of my young life.

My knit cap was my everything.

Now I felt super self-conscious and stupid, and without my hat, my curls splayed messily over my shoulders and I knew they were frizzing, but it couldn’t be helped. I found myself twirling the golden brown and maple hued tendrils around my index finger to curb my anxiety as people looked at me with strange looks on their faces. I tried to convince myself that they were getting over the shock of seeing me in such a girly dress and not the fact that I looked dumb.

I could feel Randel’s eyes skimming over me as I sorted the books into my locker and an awkward silence ensued between us as usual.

Every day, it was getting harder and harder for me to be around Randel—well, romantically anyway.

I knew I couldn’t return his feelings and found his presence irritating and annoying now. I remembered when a part of me had been so close to falling in love with him. So very close…

Now I hated myself for slowly destroying him.

Because in the end, that’s what I knew I would do to him.

“How was the run last night?” I asked him conversationally, but I was still vaguely curious.

Randel looked directly at me, a bit lost for words. And there was this glint in his eyes that I couldn’t get over… Then he snapped out of it and prepared to answer me.

“Um… it was pretty okay; no one saw any Shadow wolves and the guys hunted a herd of Elk. You know, the usual thing.” He shrugged.

I nodded and solemnly bit my lip, returning to my locker.