Omen of the Sun Book Three: Dusk

Chapter Forty

Goldleaf

When he opened his eyes, for the first heartbeat all Goldleaf saw was black.

Then they adjusted and everything came into focus. It was a little hard to explain; it was sort of like everything had blurred into focus, which probably didn't make much sense, Goldleaf realized, but that was how he saw it.

He was at the Starbrooke, he realized after a moment. He recognized the water, and the shape of the riverbed, and wondered for a moment if he was alive, or was just visiting as a StarClan cat. He panicked for a moment, his breath hitching and his heart rate speeding, as he realized that maybe it hadn't worked, maybe it wasn't possible after all.

Then he realized that his heart was pumping and he was breathing, things you couldn't do when you were dead. He wasn't dead; he was alive, breathing. He was back form the dead. He was, in all of the important ways, a medical miracle.

The thought was so ridiculous he let out a meow of laughter.

Then he turned to see his friends and family, all asleep by the side of the river. Sunpool's chest rose and fell evenly, and Cinderstorm and Lightningfeather were asleep, side by side. The apprentices were all in a little clump near each other. Silent. Asleep. So still. Everyone in the world he cared about, minus of course, Lilycloud and Frost and Doveheart and Raintail, were right here in this little grouping, and he wondered how he'd survived in StarClan without them.

Then Sunpool began to stir.

She was the first to wake. Her eyelids fluttered, then fully opened, and she let out a huge gasp, drinking in air like it was the last breath she'd ever get to take. Her eyes moved frantically around, and she leaped to her paws. Her eyes landed on Goldleaf, but there was something in them, something different, something changed from the last time he had seen them. He hadn't seen her look like this in a long time. Not since... not since she had watched death right under her forepaws, unable to help.

"What's wrong?" He asked her.

For a moment, she didn't speak. Then she said, wonderingly, "You're alive. It worked. She didn't... She didn't waste it."

"What? Waste what? Who?" Goldleaf demanded, the words tumbling over each other as he struggled to get them out of his mouth. He looked Sunpool directly in her leaf-colored eyes. "Sunpool, what happened?" He had a terrible feeling, a very terrible feeling indeed, and he didn't know why, but it was just getting stronger and stronger and stronger by the heartbeat.

She looked at him with enormous, sad, sad eyes. "I can't- you'll see for yourself. Any moment now." So they sat in silence, watching their friends. Sunpool curled her tail around his, and didn't speak, which was so out of character Goldleaf slowly became convinced that something was so very wrong. Something had happened.

Slowly, cats started to wake up. First it was Cinderstorm, then Lightningfeather a moment afterwards. Their mouths opened, and they both seemed about to speak, but didn't. They spun around together, and then, their eyes landed on Goldleaf.

"You're alive!" Cinderstorm screeched, dashing over. Her eyes raked across his body, maybe checking for assurance that he really was back. "It worked. It actually worked. I..." Then her face fell until it adopted a similar expression to Sunpool's. "Then that means she won't be coming back."

Lightningfeather came over more quietly, more slowly. "You're alive," he observed calmly. "But..."

"Will someone just telling me what's going on?" Goldleaf demanded, feeling very annoyed that they obviously knew something big enough to make Sunpool not talk, and that they weren't outright saying it. Besides, it sounded bad: "She's not coming back," Cinderstorm had said. "Who's not coming back? What happened?"

"You didn't tell him yet?" Cinderstorm asked in disbelief. She looked at Sunpool. "Why?"

"I didn't..." Sunpool began after a moment, but then shook her head. "I couldn't. I tried, I did. I just couldn't."

"Goldleaf," Lightningfeather began, "I don't really know how I can say this, really, because it hasn't exactly... sunk in, you know? Anyway, I mean..."

But a sound came form behind them, and they all turned around together. Rainpaw, Fernpaw, and Brairpaw had all jumped up, and were staring at Emberpaw. "No! NO! IT'S NOT REAL! IT CAN;T BE REAL!" Rainpaw shouted.

Sunpool darted over, leaping over the river with ease. She landed next to the apprentices and sniffed Emberpaw's body, paws poking at her body, darting under the sleeping apprentice's nose. Things started to fall into place in Goldleaf's brain.

"Emberpaw... EMBERPAW!" He yowled, following Sunpool over the river. He rubbed his daughter's body, everything moving too fast for him to comprehend. Emberpaw was unresponsive, eyes closed. Her chest was still.

She was dead.

"How did this happen?" He asked. His heart was pounding; it felt like his chest was pounding, pounding, pounding. Shattering. Breaking. Howhadthishappenedhowhadheallowedthiswhathaddonethisdidtheyunderstandthattheyweregoingtopay-

"It... there wasn't enough life force in the grass," Sunpool whispered. Everyone had gathered around them now, everyone was there, everyone except for his daughter, his Emberpaw. She wasn't biologically his, but he was her father, and she was his daughter, by relation and love and- and she and her sisters were the closest thing to a family he had created- and now she was gone-

His world was cracking.

"There wasn't enough life force and we all kind of realized but nobody was doing anything and Lionscar came and told us and Emberpaw jumped off a cliff to sacrifice herself-" Sunpool said, letting it rush out in a long stream. "We tried to stop her, Goldleaf, we did, but she's got Applestar's determination: when she wanted something, it was going to happen, and she thought- she thought this would- that it would help everything, and then she just jumped...."

"This is all my fault," Goldleaf said, collapsing onto the grass beside a body hat would never breathe again. "This is all my fault."

I realize that I'm making my situation with Rose worse and worse.

Sorry to everyone who also reads her book....

BUT OKAY I HAVE MATTHEW KOMA AND I FINALLY LISTENED TO EMOTIONAL AND IT'S SO GOOD LIKE GO YOUTUBE "EMOTIONAL FLUX PAVILION" AND JUST ASDFGHJKL IT'S REALLY GOOD KAY

AND ALSO I THINK THAT WHEN TROYE RELEASES for him IT'S GONNA BE THE TRONNOR COMING OUT BECAUSE HE SAYS IT'S REALLY SPECIFIC AND STUFFS AND YEAH I'M SOOO EXCITED FOR THAT. DECEMBER 4 CAN NOT COME FAST ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS SHORT AND LATE AND SAD CHAPTER :)

~RAINFEATHER