The PBC

Chapter 24

Eren sighed as he sat down at home with his mother bustling around.

"Eren! You're the one who set up this party, so I suggest you help!" She said as she stood next to the couch wiping her hands off on a towel since she had just finished doing the dishes.

"Mom, relax."

"All because they aren't going to be going into your wreak of a room doesn't mean anything. Hurensohn, Eren, HELP!"

"Verdammt Mama! The house is CLEAN!" (Damn it Mom!)

"Would Levi consider it clean?" She asked. Eren sighed.

"No." She smiled.

"Then get off your lazy ass and clean!" And she shoved the broom into his hands. "Mikasa is at work and can't help." Eren stood and started to sweep. Mikasa had gotten a job as a bus girl at a dinner a few blocks away. It made Eren happy. She was a hard worker, and the owner, Hannes, was more than happy to accept her considering he's a family friend.

As Eren swept, he started to hum a few French songs he remembered hearing Levi hum while he worked or cleaned his own room. The junior didn't seem to notice he even did it, so Eren never said anything. Eren purposely hummed, switching between different songs in different languages, even if he had yet to learn it.

"Eren!" His mother called.

"What?" He called back. He was about to turn when arms were wrapped around him and he stumbled backwards.

"Hey Prez!" Eren sighed as he hugged Hanji back.

"Your mom's really nice." Petra said as she came into the living room with the other members, plus Connie and Ymir.

"Why thank you." Carla said as she walked into the room as well. "Why do you're friends have better manners than you?" Carla asked. Eren just looked at her.

"Because they don't take after you." He said with a small smile. She smiled a little wider.

"Denk dran Sohn, ich habe dich auf diese Welt gebracht. Und ich kann dich auch verdammt nochmal genauso gut wieder von ihr entfernen!" It was said in smooth German, and considering no one else in the room understood German, Eren was left with being the only one knowing the true horror of her words. (Remember son, I brought you into this world. And I can take you the fuck out)

"Mütter werden meistens zuerst verdächtigt." Carla shook her head. (The mother's usually the first suspect)

"Normalerweise eher Partner oder Ex-Partner." Eren sighed. (Usually it's the lover or ex-lover)

"Mom, you are the best mother in the world, could yo-"

"I was just about to go get the snacks. Don't worry."

"Und genau darum liebt Papa dich." Carla turned with a glint in her eye. (And that's why Dad loves you.)

"Er liebt mich weil ich ihn einfach umhaue und weil ich der beste Fick bin, den er je hatte." Eren's face fought between completely pale and red as hell's fire. (He loves me because I can knock him flat and am the best fuck he's ever had)

"MOTHER!" Carla cocked her head slightly.

"What is it dear? Was it something I said?" Eren's brows furrowed.

"You win this time." She just smiled and went into the kitchen.

"What'd she say?" Hanji asked. Eren just shook his head.

"You DON'T wanna know. Trust me." He turned to the others and motioned to the couch. "Let's get this thing started."

"Smash Bros tournament?" Ymir asked. Eren smirked.

"I call Kirby!" Sasha said as she jumped over the back of the couch.

"Pikachu!" Eren said with a wide smile.

"Children." Ymir said as she sat down and chose Samus.

"Then I call Diddy Kong!" Connie said with a smile.

"Link?" Marco asked, but no one objected.

"Zelda." Petra said with a smile.

"Yoshi!" Armin chirped happily.

"Luigi." Bert said shyly.

"Rosalina." Mikasa said as she settled on the floor next to Armin who was setting up a tournament board with everyone's assigned character.

"Mario." Molbit said, helping set up the tournament board

"Peach!" Hanji said with a wide smile. Everyone turned to Krista. She just sat pretty on Ymir's lap before smiling softly.

"Bowser." Everyone kind of stared at her. "What?" Then they started laughing.

"I thought she'd chose a cute one." Hanji giggled, then Eren shook his head.

"Oh no. Krista has NEVER gone with what we expect. It's alway someone you'd never think. Last time, it was fucking OLIMAR!"

"Who's that?" Petra asked. Eren turned to her, putting up a slightly scandalized face before slipping into his stereotype voice.

"Girl, how do you NOT know who Olimar is? That big nosed shorty is from Pikmin. Man knows how to pull." Eren said, snapping his fingers. The room was silent for not even three seconds before the room fell into fits of laughter.

"Holy shit. That was awesome!" Hanji said, clutching her stomach. Eren hummed in agreement, not even slipping out of character.

"Bitch you know it." That caused another round of giggles before Carla walked in.

"Now Eren. If you keep talking like that your voice will get stuck like that." Eren sighed, still not slipping.

"But Mom. This is who I really am and it hurts that you don't accept it." Carla shook her head, a small smile on her face.

"Honey, I already told you I accept you no matter what. I don't care if you like being deep in holes or climbing poles, I will always accept you." Eren smiled at her, finally going back to his normal voice.

"Thanks Mom."

"Does this mean Eren can come out and tell you he got a job as a pole dancer?" Mikasa asked, completely deadpanned. Carla gasped as she turned to Eren.

"Eren Jaeger!" Eren rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry mom, I couldn't help it. It was calling to me. BEGGING me to just spin around and grind on it."

"Tell me it at least pays well." Carla said. Eren nodded.

"I get even more if I strip." Carla gave a single affirmative nod.

"You better. I did not leave the military to make a beautiful male copy of myself and NOT have him show off the body I gave him." Eren nodded again.

"I'll make you proud Mom!" Carla hugged him from over the couch.

"That's my boy! But seriously, if you ever get a job as a stripper, I expect at least 80% of your tips because I carried you for a little over nine months because SOMEONE decided he still needed six more days of beauty sleep." Eren blushed lightly.

"Mom!" He whined, causing Carla to just pinch his cheeks and stand straight.

"I know I know. You want the snacks. Give me a minute. I heard you all laughing and needed to make sure it wasn't because Ymir put Connie in a headlock again." And she went back to the kitchen.

"Wow, your mom is so chill." Hanji said as she sat in Molbit's lap.

"Yeah. I thought Military parents were really strict." Petra said, sitting on the arm of one of the chairs. Eren snorted.

"Well my Mom isn't all sunshine and rainbows. She can be a total bitch when she wants to be."

"And you can be a complete Arsch when you want to be." Carla said as she came in with a few trays of goodies, passing an entire one to Sasha for the girl to have for herself. (Ass)

"Love you too Mom."