Crazy (s.m)

eight

BRUH THIS GETS SO GOOD PLS READ IT ALL

H A R R Y

"Wait. Alice it's no-"

I give up. She's already gone. Wow I screwed up. I'm a terrible boyfriend. I can't believe I did that to her. The worst possible time.

I grab my phone and ring her multiple times, leaving a voicemail every time.

'Alice please. We can talk about it.' I send.

I run inside and up to my room, slamming my door. I'm nothing without her. I start crying, putting my head in my hands. She's probably never going to speak to me again, and I don't blame her.

I hate myself. I hate myself for falling in love with someone else.

---------

A L I C E

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" Shawn asked, noticing my red, tired, crying eyes. I just pulled him into a hug and intertwined our fingers. I wanted to kiss him so bad right now but I just wasn't ready.

"This is wrong babe.." He trails off. Babe. He called me babe.

Even though it was just holding hands he knew I wanted to kiss him.

"It's not."

"But you're dati-"

"Not anymore. Harry is a cheater. No matter how much I want to cry right now, I know he's just a byotch."

He laughs, "You're so cute when you try not to swear."

I nuzzle my head in his neck and smile.

* 1 hour later *

After I explained everything to Shawn and told his family Merry Christmas we headed up to Shawn's room. He was so understanding and sweet with everything that happened. Right now, Harry's the last person I'm thinking about. Shawn made me realize I don't deserve someone like him. I deserve someone who cares about me enough to not go kissing other girls. I know what you're thinking. Yeah, I know I kissed Shawn when Harry and I were dating, but I knew it was wrong and I told Shawn it was wrong and I stopped it before anything happened. I'm glad I met him though.

We talked and just hung out in his room for hours.

* later, around 9pm *

"I've been writing a song." He says, heading towards his guitar.

"Oh really?" I ask, sitting on his bed.

"About you." He says, blushing a deep red. "It's called Imagination (a/n remember this is just after the ep came out so like he hasnt written handwritten yet. lol sorry all the timing is screwed up)."

He starts strumming and I smile.

"I keep craving craving you. Don't know it but it's true. Can't get mouth to say the words they want to say to you. This is typical of love..can't wait anymore, won't wait, I need to tell you how I feel. In my dreams...you're with me...." He sings continuing on until he finishes.

He was perfect. His angelic voice made me smile and I began to laugh and clap. I run and hug
him.

"You know, you really are amazing. I know you dont think so, but you are." He whispers into my hair.

I'm insecure. And he knows it.

All the bad memories come flooding towards me again. (a/n lol whats new haha this happens all the time but this one is more dramatic so get ready) don't know if I ever mentioned this but I've always had anxiety and panic attacks. Ever since I was little, really. Sometimes the panic attacks got really bad. The simplest thing would make me upset. Thinking about how I'm escaping right now makes me realize, I have to go back to my awful dad, depressing house and face the future. Shawn helped me get over that, but just for a moment.

All of the sudden my chest feels heavy and my palms got sweaty. My head feels like it's going to explode.

I step away from Shawn, suddenly feeling dizzy and nervous.

"Alice whats wrong?" He asks, worried. It doesn't phase me. I just stand there, like a statue. Frozen.

I start to feel more light headed and he leads me to his bed and puts his soft hand on my forehead.

"Alice!" He says, franticly. "

I still didn't answer, I couldn't get my mouth to move.

•••••

S H A W N

"Alice. Alice talk to me!"

I'm freaking out. Alice wasn't answering me and I didn't know what to do.

"Mum!!"

My mum comes running up and rushes over.

"What's wrong?! What's going on?!" She asks, getting panicked as well. She sees Alice and tries to calm her down.

"Breathe.." She kept telling her but Alice looked like she was going to pass out.

I stand up and pace back and forth, crying harder. I feel like I did something, that's why I'm crying more, because I didn't want to hurt her. I really hope she's okay...I've never experienced this before...it's really scary.

••••••

{ten minutes later}

We finally got her to calm down and she was now lying down on my bed, eyes closed. I shook her, even though I knew she wasn't asleep. She just needed to rest.

"Hm? W-why am I lying down?"

"You had a really bad panic attack. But you're okay now." I could tell it all came back to her, the light in her eyes returning.

"D-did I speak?" I was confused at her words until I figure it out.

"No...that's what was so scary. I was scared you were going to pass out, so we let you lie down. My mum helped you gain your regular breathing." I said and she looked relieved.

"T-thank you Shawn..."