Crazy (s.m)

thirty eight

Hey guys I just wanted to touch on shawn rn. we're all super worried about him bc hes been tweeting about the hate on the pillow talk cover and he seems rlly upset. he was laughing it off but he's obviously really hurt. it's making me rlly sad bc i don't know whether he's okay or not. and he hasn't tweeted in like five hours. i rlly hope he's not doing something stupid rn i'm so worried :(

A L I C E

I dialed Shawn, not knowing what else to do, and held the phone up to my ear.

Three rings. No answer.

Four rings. No answer.

Five rings. Still no answer.

I gave up and ended the call, clutching my phone to my chest and letting my tears get it soaked.

When I forced myself to stop crying I ran out of the bathroom, not attempting to call my mom or Shawn again. The stained tears on my cheeks gave me a familiar burning sensation as the cold air hit my heated body. I didn't think and I just left my stuff, running towards the back door. No one was around and this school was stupid as shit so no one would even know if I left. I took the risk and pushed open the cold metal school doors to find myself lost in the back yard of the school. I found my way towards the front and ran to the normal walking path I take to get to and from school. I continued running, not caring how much I was panting. When I came near my neighborhood I slowed down to a walking pace and made my way to my house.

I reached my small home and quickly unlocked it, running to my bathroom. I grabbed my razor without thinking and rolled up my sleeves, revealing the fading scars.

"One month clean today baby. I'm so proud of you."

Shawn's words repeated in my head as I felt the tears on my cheeks.

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S H A W N

I finished folding my maroon obey hoodie in my tightly packed suitcase and plopped down on my bed, checking my phone.

Missed call from princess <3

the home diggity mrs. warner: Hey please hurry to our house now. I can't make it home fast enough so I need you to. The school called me and Alice needs help and we don't know what's going on. Please just go now and hurry

I started shaking and my heartbeat quickened. My breathing hitched as I finished reading the text and I quickly ran out of my room, slipping on my vans.

"Mum Alice needs me I'll be back soon!" I yelled and she started asking me things but I cut her off by running out the door and starting up my car. The engine was being slow but when I was on the road I made sure I was going fast enough to get there. My knuckles turned white as I nervously held the steering tight. The car ride was anticipating and nerve racking. But when I finally made it, I jumped out of my car and ran to the door, to find it open. I immediately started calling her name and I heard the familiar cries coming from the bathroom. My heart shattered as I looked at her and I felt a tear roll down my cheek.

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A L I C E

I shook Shawn's voice out of my head and focused on the cold blade hitting my skin. I made cuts all up my arm to my elbow and made sure they were more noticeable than the others. When I finished on that arm, I heard the door open and someone running in the house. When I heard Shawn's voice I just cried harder, dropping the razor and standing up to reach into the medicine cabinet, grabbing any big bottle I could find. My shaky hand and weak arm made it almost impossible for me to grab it. But I did and I almost managed to get it open.