Black roses and dark dreams

Chapter Ten : Preparing for it

I sighed. It was a new day, and the time for us to go. Even if it looked simple, it wasn't. I had no idea of what will I tell to Jax. Leo was right, I couldn't tell him about my possible father yet. If that man really was my father, then I had no idea what will happen with me and Jax. Where will that take us. 

I lost my thoughts staring at the street through my window. All the people were running back and forth. The world was moving on... I was the one who was blocked in the past. 

A knock on the door made me jump and I turned around, so I can see the person who was entering the room. Of course it was no one else than Leo. 

'' Good morning! '' He said and smiled a little. I didn't return the gesture though. I didn't mean to be rude, but I just wasn't in the mood. 

'' Hey. Are you going to come with me to the hospital ? '' My eyes traveled from the blank wall, all the way to meet his eyes. 

'' Yeah. I want to see Jax. What are you going to tell him ? '' I sighed again. It wasn't the fact that I did not think about it. I did. All night long. My mind was all the way fucked up. But I couldn't find a cool and acceptable reason for our trip. It was too much going on in my mind. It felt like my head was going to explode.

'' Let's just go. I'll find something on our way there... '' I said and walked outside the door, and got out of the apartment. My brother followed me to his car. 

We got into the car and he put a rap CD on. I pressed stop. 

'' What are you doing? This is my car. '' 

'' I need silence. To think. My mind is already too loud. Music will just make it worse. '' I said and turned my head to look outside, through the window. 

'' Ok... if that's what you want. '' My brother said and started his car, driving off. 

The situation was really, really bad. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to disappear. To go somewhere quite and scream till I can't anymore. To cry my soul off.  But here I was, trying to find a solution.  

'' Less ? '' 

'' Uhm.. what? '' 

'' We're here. '' Said Leo and stopped the car. Here we go. 

I got out of the car, slowly and tried to come back to reality, because it all felt like a dream. People at the hospital were running back and forth, and all I did was observe everything, not say anything and be numb. That's all I could do. When we were there, in front of Jax's salon, I stopped. Not saying anything, just staring at the door. 

'' Are we going to get in, or what? '' Said my brother. 

'' Wait here. I'll tell you when to come in. '' Was all I said and I entered the room without knocking. 

Jax turned his head to look at me. He was better, apparently. Physically talking. Mentally, not so much. I could tell that by his face. He wasn't happy to see me, which was weird, and unusual. He was always happy when he saw me. We were in love. Well... I was, but I assumed he felt the same thing. I wasn't too excited either. But his face, his eyes, made everything feel better instantly. 

'' Hey... '' I said and walked over to the bed. I kissed him, not letting him say anything. He smiled. There it was. This is what I wanted to see. 

'' Hey. Uhm... Kent was here earlier. '' 

'' What? He came without me? Oh, that boy! So you met him? What do you think ? '' 

'' I think... I think that he's my brother Less. ''  I sighed and forced myself to not say anything. I wasn't surprised, at all. They had the same tattoo. Plus they both had memories about an abusive father that hated them. I should have expected this coming. They're not stupid. The connection between the memories was easy to make.  

'' You know what I think? I think you should stop thinking so much. Enough problems for today. '' I said and climbed myself on top of him. He pulled me closer and started kissing me. This was my way of solving problems - by ignoring them. I moaned. Then, suddenly, I pulled away. I totally forgot about my brother, who was outside, waiting for me to let him in. 

'' What happened? '' 

'' I forgot my surprise for you outside. '' 

'' What surprise ? '' 

'' Come in! '' I yelled and my brother appeared. 

'' Hey bro! '' My brother smiled. 

'' Yo! What's up?!! When did you come to New York, Leo ? '' 

'' Long time ago. And I just bumped into my sister. '' 

" Bump isn't exactly- '' I started, but Leo interrupted me. 

'' Shut up! Did my sister tell you why we came here ? '' Jax's face became worried. 

'' No.. What happened? '' He asked looking at me with those big, cute eyes. I lost it. All my thoughts were gone, and I couldn't say a thing. Leo saw it and tried to save me. 

'' We're leaving the town for like 2 days. I don't know how much we'll stay. Is a family thing in Houston. An aunt called us and told us we should meet her there. Nothing to be worried about. I'm here to take care of her, don't worry. Your girl will be safe. '' 

'' Ok. Come here! '' Jax said to me and I got closer. We kissed again, and then he pulled away. 

'' Now come on. Go! The sooner you leave, the sooner you'll get back home. '' 

'' Ok. I love you. Bye. '' 

'' Bye. '' 

Me and my bro got out of the salon and leaved the hospital, getting back to our car. 

'' Let's go to Houston! '' 

" We're not going home first? We have no cloths or food. '' 

'' Fuck that babe! We have money. Now come on. Get in and let's go. '' 

'' Ok... '' 

He started the car and drove off. Suddenly, I became nervous. I will soon meet my possible dad. My life will change again in just a few hours. But I guess all I needed to do was live the present. Stop living in the past. Let everything go. That would help me be happy. With the people I love around me. I smiled a little and press play to the CD I stopped earlier. Leo looked at me, and we both smiled devily at each other.