Reality

23

We drove home with lovesick smiles, messy hair and intertwined hands. And myself with a slight limp, though that's completely irrelevant. It was now dark as we pulled into the garage.

"What took you so long?" My sister asked, not looking up from her phone. We had tried to sneak upstairs to keep attention away from our late return, but apparently Eve just wasn't letting that happen. We paused in our steps, tensing slightly as we glanced at one another looking for a somewhat reasonable answer.

My sister looked up from her phone, searching out faces for an answer before letting her eyes wonder. First her sight landed on our ruffled hair, then our swollen lips. Her eyes fell upon my hand, tightly grasping Miles'. And finally on the hickeys trailed from my neck to my chest, her eyes widened comically.

"Oh." She said, obviously shocked by the current situation. She looked down at her phone again and let out a nervous laugh.

"Oh! ahah, got to answer this call. Sorry." She fake grinned before pressing the phone to her ear and answering. Her phone didn't even ring.

Miles glanced at me with an eyebrow raised, I replied with a shrug and dragged him up the stairs and to my room.

Once the door was shut behind us Miles was unbuttoning my jeans and pushing me down onto the bed. I guess it's time for round 2.

>

I ran my fingers through Miles' soft curls as he layed tucked into my side. He was humming an unfamiliar tune that left me at ease as the tips of his fingers traced my stomach. He looked deep in concentration.

"Jasp?" He asked.

"Hm?"

"I-I think maybe it's time." He stuttered out, I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Time for what?" I asked before letting out a loud yawn, tired from today's... events. Miles chomped on his bottom lip, tugging it between his teeth before meeting my gaze.

"Time to go." He whispered, I immediately tensed, snapping my head towards him.

"What?" I said, a little louder than intended. He sighed and closed his eyes a bit. Through the dark I could make out a single tear roll down his cheek.

"Jasper, we can't not say it, we know we both feel it."

"Then, we can just do that! We can tell each other we feel it, it implies the same thing."

"But it's not the same thing." He whimpered and I sighed in frustration, sitting up. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration as I tried to sniffle away the tears threatening to spill. I felt Miles' hand as it grasped my shoulder lightly. He rested his chin on top of his hand and I felt some of his tears drop onto my shoulder blade, which only made me want to cry more.

"I don't want to lose you Miles, you're all I have, you're my best friend. I lo-"

I cut myself off, knowing that letting the words tumble past my lips would prove this argument to be pointless, and I would be a very lonely boy.

"Jasp." He started, nuzzling his head into the crook of my chest.

"I can't stay here, I need to let you out into the world and let you find someone, someone real." He sobbed.

"But you are real!" I yelled, turning to him and grabbing him by the shoulders.

"You're here! I can see you, touch you, kiss you!" I demanded, desperate for him to drop the whole thing.

"But you can't love me."

"But I can, I feel it Miles. You feel it, that's all I need." I lied, of course I craved to say it, but I couldn't. But I would settle for this shitty plan B of having to push back the amount of love I have for him and just hope that he always feels the same.

"Everyone needs closure, baby." He murmured as his hand found its way to the back of my head, the other one snaking around my waist as he kissed me. It was slow. But desperate. We were kissing as if we could pull the words out of one another in locked lips, as if if we were to murmur it into the kiss, it would be a dirty secret, no one would know.

And as we layed back down, wrapped in my sheets. His head in my chest, his fingers tracing the detail of my stomach. I felt my eyelids get heavy, my breath slow down.

And in my sleepy state I heard a quiet,

"I love you, Jasper."

And sleepily, and unaware of my surroundings, I mumbled back,

"I love you too, Miles." Just as I dozed off.

In that moment I didn't realise that I had just made, possibly the biggest mistake of my life.