WANT TO KNOW A SECRET?

(29)

Several people came knocking on the door throughout the night but I didn't make the same mistake that time and simply cranked up the volume on my mp3 player.

In the end I didn't manage to get much sleep and woke up covered in sweat at five in the morning after a bad dream. I tried to get back to sleep but after tossing and turning in bed for more than an hour, I finally decided to get up and leave before everyone.

Despite stopping to get a hot chocolate and a donut on my way to school, I still got to homeroom thirty minutes early and was the first one there. Not in the least bothered, I got Animal Farm, the novel we'd be studying in English next, out of my bag and started reading it.

I studiously ignored Owen when he sat next to me right before Mr. Sullivan started the roll call and went on ignoring him when he tried to talk to me between each class or on the way to the lunch room.

I bought myself a sandwich, a fruit salad and a bottle of water and chose to eat in my car - well, Mr. Van Houten's – so I'd be left alone.

I was savoring this respite away from everyone when Landon opened the passenger door and sat next to me.

"Houston, we have a problem..." He said, probably hoping it would lighten up the mood. "Three boys are currently seconds away from completely losing their shit... All because of you..."

Three boys? I frowned.

"Yes, three, Poppy." He seemed to have read my mind. "Leo, Nathan and..." He sighed. "And Tyler, of course..." I rolled my eyes. "You need to talk to your bro, Poppy." He went on. "You're all he's got and your rejection is literally killing him..."

"I'm not rejecting him..." I pointed out, pissed off he'd even suggest I was.

"You locked yourself in your room last night..." He argued.

"It had nothing to do with Nate..." I argued back.

"Well, he doesn't know that..."

"And? What's the big deal when everything's already so shitty, anyway?" I countered with a shrug.

"Poppy, you're better than that..." He scolded me.

"Nope." I interjected. "I really thought I was doing the right thing, he was all I had in mind night and day, I quit soccer to get a job so life wouldn't change so much for him. I did everything I could to keep a smile on his smile..." I grunted when I felt tears on my face. "And all that time I was feeling good about myself thinking that no matter what, I was preserving him and blah blah blah when in fact, he was just pretending on my behalf..." I wiped my tears away angrily.

"He wasn't just pretending, Poppy." He said softly. "I saw that kid cry out of laughter more times than I could count. You can't fake that..."

I shrugged.

"You're like an umbrella for him. You catch most of the raindrops before they reach him. Maybe he hadn't realized just how much of a difference you made but he does now..."

"I'm just tired, that's all..." I admitted. "But it has nothing to do with him..." I added to avoid any further misunderstanding. I checked my watch and saw that we only had five minutes left. "We need to go."

"Just come with me to see him, Poppy..." He pleaded.

I sighed but wordlessly followed him to building B.

After entering the Junior School through the glass double door, we stopped in a spacious but empty hall where rows of brightly colored lockers lined the walls, just as the five minute bell rang in building C.