The Walking Dead - Dixon Bloodfall (A Walking Dead ff)

Chapter Ten - Nowhere Gone

There was a smell of food in the air when she woke. It was what roused her from her sleep, and though it didn’t smell very good or appetizing at all it still slid her from the depths of slumber and reminded her how hungry she was. Then her stomach twisted up in embarrassment when she realized she had been asleep in front of everyone, probably snoring or making sounds of some sort. As she sat up she could see where they were, Carol tending to the food, Merle and Daryl discussing something calmly across from her, Rick pacing the room. Daryl turned to her and whispered something to Merle, who in turn smiled just slightly and nodded.

 “Quinn?” Rick’s hesitant voice took her by surprise. Her mind was still foggy from sleep and so she looked at him expectantly, hoping he hadn’t said her name. He nodded and motioned for her to approach and she felt her cheeks flush. Rick frightened her. “Come on.” He beckoned, his accent just slightly thicker than Merle’s. She reluctantly stood up and walked to him, and he had opened his mouth to say something when he suddenly flinched, one hand flying upwards and one to his holster. She turned and saw Merle being restrained just slightly by Daryl.

 “It’s okay.” She said to him, smiling. His expression remained unchanged.

“Keep your brother under control, I’ll be right back.” She felt Rick’s hand on her shoulder and flinched. He turned to her, confused, and then pulled away and began walking. She followed and Merle made a noise of discontent.

“You don’t have to be afraid of me.” Rick said softly when they entered the end of the hallway. Being so far away from Merle, coupled with her general feelings of dislike and fear of Rick, unnerved her.

“Don’t I?” She walked a comfortable distance away from him and sat down against the wall, crossing her legs and resting her hands in her lap.

“No, you don’t.” He said, narrowing his eyes at her. She made eye contact for a moment, then looked down. “How old are you?”

 “Fifteen.” She whispered, fiddling with the shoelaces on her dirty converse. Rick paused, then started pacing again.

 “Why are you with him? Merle? Is he -” He paused, lifting a hand up and waving it just a bit.

It had taken a moment for what Rick was suggesting to settle in, but when it did, she was outraged. “He saved my life! He’s not some goddamn pedophile!”

“I had to ask. People these days.”

“Yeah, I know people these days. But Merle isn’t one of ‘em. He isn’t who you think he is.” Rick was upset by this, his brow furrowed and he clenched the bridge of his nose.

“Listen, I know he saved you, but you don’t - You shouldn’t be with him. You should stay with us.”

“I thought we were both staying.” She stood up and propped herself up against the table. Rick swayed a bit, then resumed his usual pace, pausing only to emphasise his words.

“You know how he is, puttin’ everybody at each other’s throats. He can’t stay here forever.”

“He’ll get better.” She lied. He was on edge just being here, especially whenever he saw Rick, or saw him with Daryl, or saw Glenn or Michonne. Come to think of it he seemed on edge constantly. He was in enemy territory though, it was to be expected he’d have some hostility. At least they let him have relatively free roam of the prison.

“That’s debatable.” Rick mumbled. “I just don’t feel right leavin’ you with him. He’s dangerous, I know that firsthand.”

“You should, you cut the damn thing off.” Quinn retorted. Rick’s face slackened for a moment, obviously caught off guard before he turned around and most likely put his hand to his head again. He’d do this periodically.

“I’ve been meanin’ t’ ask you about that. What exactly do you know?”

“I know you left Merle up there to die.”

“Do you know we came back for him?”

“Looks like you did a damn good job of it.” She stood up and moved to walk back towards the others when once again she felt Rick’s hand on her shoulder, but this time was quick and angry. She whirled around to face him.

“I’m warning you now, Merle is bad news. He might’ve taken care of you, he might’ve helped you, but he is a dangerous man.”

They shared a stare for several moments before she shoved him back, angrily, though her size and strength only moved him a miniscule amount. Flustered and livid she stormed out and back into the populated room, skulking straight past Merle and Daryl and up the stairs. Rick had earlier made it clear nobody was allowed out in the courtyard anymore, so instead she’d cool off in the guard tower bridge, though her mind was racing with thoughts of going against him. Merle had said something when she whizzed past but she was too mad to hear it, too mad to stand around anymore.

The air outside was cool and damp, like a cool day in Florida, when she was younger and used to go with her cousins in the summer. As she sat on the concrete floor of the bridge, she wondered how Disney World fared in this undead nightmare, if it was still the happiest place on Earth. Somehow she found comfort in imagining a zombified Mickey chasing after other Disney characters, moaning “brains” in that high pitched voice. She laughed and the sound of her own delight slightly eased the anger Rick had started.

A brief thought erupted in her mind, a vision of Merle being a part of her old life. Maybe he could’ve been an uncle or something, maybe more appropriately a grandfather, the kind old one that took their grandkids to amusement parks like in the movies. In reality they would have never met, and chances are if they did Merle would’ve been an asshole to her like he is to everyone else.

 “You alright?” As if just thinking about him could summon him, Merle was in the doorway, his voice not interrupting her thoughts but soothing into them, making her smile just a bit.

“Just needed to cool off. That guy’s an ass.”

“What did he say to you?” He had waltzed over that slow, predictable way he walked when he was comfortable and sat down next to her. She was happy to be alone with him like the old times.

“Same thing every other prick in here has said. “Oh Merle isn’t good, Merle’s dangerous, Merle’s a bad person.” So fricken’ annoying, like - Christ.”

“nd’ you don’t believe ‘em?” Mere raised an eyebrow.

“Course not dumbass. You’re my brother, I love you.” Merle smiled and let out a soft chuckle, almost akin to a breath and ruffled her hair with his free hand. She smiled and playfully pushed him back, leaving the pair to sit in silence and stare out of the slots in the wooden barriers the group had put against the chain link fence. It felt wonderful, the cool breeze that slipped through the cracks, the presence of her closest friend, the peace.

“We’re gonna be stickin’ around.” She turned to face him. He looked slightly upset, but waited for her to speak before he continued.

“Why? We’re not a part of this.”

“My brother is, and he wants ‘em more than he wants me.”

“So screw ‘em.” She regretted her words as soon as he had said that. Merle lowered his head and looked the other direction. “I didn’t -”

He laughed listlessly. “He’s, he’s family.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I just blurted it out. He isn’t that bad.”

They were quiet for a while after that. Eventually Merle patted her shoulder and walked out of the bridge, leaving Quinn alone to stew in her thoughts.

Quinn and Merle didn’t fit in here and the tension of their presence was beginning to become palpable, frighteningly. Like a powder keg with a lit fuse it was a matter of time until it exploded, and she had no idea which side of the damage she’d end up on when the smoke cleared.

She joined Merle and the others again shortly after.