Seems Like A Lifetime

Your Guardian Angel

I pulled up in front of Ashley's house but I couldn't get out of the car, I know she's going to ask me whats wrong and I just don't feel like talking right now.

I think I'll just sit here for a while.

I think I sat in the car for about a hour before going inside.

I went straight up to the room.

I'm not sure if she heard me come in, I tried to be as quiet as possible.

I laid down on the bed and waterfall of tears started flowing.

I thought maybe just maybe after ten years she would have changed by now.

"Spencer are you getting ready?" she asked knocking on the door.

I wanted to say something so she wouldn't come in but I was crying to hard.

"Spencer, you okay?" she asked opening the door.

"Spencer's whats wrong?" she asked running over to my bedside.

I couldn't speak.

"Spence..." she started.

"Please Spencer, tell me what's wrong." She pleaded.

I turned over and sat up but the words still wouldn't come out.

"Is this about what happened last night because if it is then..." I put my finger over her mouth to stop her before she said something crazy.

I wiped my face and looked at her.

She looked so worried.

What should I say, should I tell her I'm crying because the love I have for her is ruining my relationship with my mother, or I'm scared because I want to be with her but I don't want to break up my family.

"Spence, are you going to tell me whats wrong?" she asked again.

I took a deep breath.

"I went and talked to my mom," I started.

"And what happened?" she asked.

"She told me to leave." I said.

"What? Why?" she asked.

I figured I should just come right out and tell her.

Whats the point in holding it in.

I took another deep breath.

"I told her that I loved you," I said feeling a tear fall from my eye.

"Spence..." she said sympathetically wiping the tear from my cheek.

"I told her, I loved you and that I was thinking about leaving my husband and she told me to leave. My own mother, if she can't accept me Ashley who will?" I said laying back down on the pillow.

"Spence, I'm not going to lie, it's going to be hard for a while, but people get over it and they move on and eventually accept you. My mom didn't like the fact that I was gay but she accepts it now because she knows there's nothing she can do to change me. Your mom will eventually come around Spence." She said laying her head down next to mines.

"What about my children, I'm going to have to fight for them and if I lose I'm not sure what I'll do." I said through my sobs.

"Spencer, I'll get you the best lawyer money can buy, no one is going to take your children away I promise." She said.

I'm just not sure if I can take that chance, I love her, but their my kids, I gave birth to them and they mean everything to me.

"Ashley, can we just stay here tonight, I'm not really in the party mood." I said snuggling up to her.