How To Kidnap Patrick Stump (and Dan Howell)

Chapter 2

Patrick sat on his bed in silence for a few minutes. It didn't seem like the fangirl had followed him. But still, you could never be sure.

In the end, it was the fedora that persuaded him to get up.

Patrick walked over to the door and pressed his ear up against the wood. He couldn't hear anything.

Slowly, Patrick turned the door handle. He cautiously peered around the door.

It was clear.

Patrick inched across the landing quietly, trying not to make a sound. He didn't doubt that the fangirl would be hiding somewhere, ready to pounce, but if he could creep unnoticed back down to the restaurant then he would be safe. Probably.

He had placed a foot on the stairs when there came a voice.

"Patrick!" It was the fangirl. Patrick was sure of it.

He didn't make a sound and hoped she would go away.

But then he saw something in the corner of his eye that made him change his mind.

She was holding his fedora.

"Hey, give that back!" He said.

"Why don't you come and get it?" she said, waving the hat in the air and giggling.

"Give it back right now, young lady. Or I'll..." Patrick didn't know what he would do.

"Just come and get it, then I can leave," she said, like that was all she wanted. Patrick knew that he should never trust a fangirl.

But Patrick had had enough. He always stuck to the rules, but now he was going to disobey them.

Patrick took a step forwards and the girl smiled. It was a nice smile, one that made him think that maybe she didn't want anything more than for him to collect his fedora.

But of course that was ridiculous.

As soon as Patrick was within reaching distance of her, she whipped out a black bag and threw it over his head. He couldn't see anything.

"Holy smokes!" he yelled. "Pete! Joe! Andy!" Patrick panicked.

He heard the muffled voice of the fangirl through the bag.

"They won't hear you!" she said. Patrick could almost hear her grinning.

***

Ten minutes later, Patrick found himself being thrust into a what he thought was a van, or some other sort of vehicle. He felt himself being pressed against another body.

"Pete?" Patrick called. "Andy? Joe?"

"What?" Patrick heard a voice which he couldn't identify. It sounded British. "Wait- that's not Patrick is it?"

"Who are you?" asked Patrick.

"It's Dan, danisnotonfire Dan," said the voice.

"Oh, yeah, it's Patrick here," said Patrick. He was very confused. Why had Dan Howell now been thrown into the equation?

***

After an uncomfortable and silent journey, Patrick finally heard the door opening. A shaft of light filtered through his blindfold.

He felt someone hauling him up out of the van and then the bag was suddenly ripped off his head.