The Trade

Perfectly

Sunday Morning.

I sat in my bed, watching him sleep. Trying to figure out how he could fuck up something so good? Why would he fuck up something so good? Is it something I said or did? I don't think I'll ever understand

"Are you gonna stare holes in me?" he asked with his eyes still closed

I stayed silent, until I heard my bedroom door opening. I pulled the sheet further on myself

"TT, you up?" Jojo asked through the crack in the door

"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute for breakfast okay? "

He opened the door more, being nosey.

"Uncle Roddddd!" he yelled and jumped on my bed onto Rod

"Wassup lil man?" Rod smiled at him

"Nothing, I missed you TT said you guys broked up."

"Yeah I missed you too man.. TT and I did break up"

"So are you guys back together??" Jojo asked with hope in his eyes, and I hated to be the one to take that from him

"NO we aren't" I said more so to Rod than Jojo.  "Go brush your teeth Jo"

"Aw TT, can't I stay a little longer?" he aske with his puppy dog face

"No,  now Jovon" I used his full name so he would know I was being serious

Once he left the room, I stood up and put on my underwear and a oversized t-shirt which probably once belonged to him

"You should leave" I said coming out of the bathroom after brushing my teeth

He sat up and put on his underwear

"Are you serious Railin?" he asked standing in front of me

That body I once grew weak for , only made me pulsate a couple times before I spoke again

"Yeah" I said in a duh tone pulling my hair into a bun

"What about last night?" he asked

"What about it? You want me to say thank you? Okay. Thanks for the birthday sex Rod, in case you forgot you slept with my 'bestfriend' , your services are no longer needed so you can leave now" I said smartly

"It was only birthday sex?" he laughed

"Yes Rod it was, I mean what else could it have been? This---us, I don't think we'll happen again" I said matter of fact-ly

He pulled his pants on and sat on the bed again

"You know.. after we broke up, I thought I'd be okay honestly. Im a man, and men are supposed to bounce back from break ups like aint shit happen. But I couldn't Railin. Everyday I woke up, I wished I was waking up to you, Krei and Jojo. I couldn't go anywhere without thinking about you, or how much fun we had. I couldn't go to sleep without closing my eyes ad hearing your small voice in my head telling me how much you loved me. I couldn't go to work without pausing in the parking lott, remembering the day we met. My life started that day Railin, cause I started living with purpose. Why do you think it was so easy for me to buy stuff for you and the kids? Or spend time with y'all like it was nothing? Or that I looked past the fact that your a stripper? It's because that very day I saw you with that carseat in your left hand, and Jojo's hand in your right, with that glint in your eye... I knew it was you that I had been looking for my whole life."

He had been looking at me the whole time.. and as hard as I wanted to act I couldn't. Tears had escaped and I was so numb, I couldn't wipe them.

"I love those kids, and you more then I love myself. I don't know what I need to do for you to understand how sorry I am Railin.. cause Im sorry. No matter what I do It wont stop I just want you back"

I walked back into my bathroom and wiped my face .

Don't fall for it  I thought to myself

I went back into my bedroom and he was gone. I went into Krei's room and that where he was, changing her diaper.

I walked over to him and moved him out of the way

"Thank you" I said buttoning her onsie back up

"You never said thank you before, don't start now. It makes me feel like I don't have a chance" he said grabbing my hand

I snatched it away and picked krei up and headed for the door

"you don't.." I whispered loud enough for him to hear me

I went into the kitchen and made some sausage for Jojo, his new addiction.

I was feeding Krei some applesauce when Rod came from my room and headed for the door to leave.

"Happy birthday" he said sitting a Tiffany bag on the living room table, and he left.

I finished feeding Krei and had Jojo go take a bath before I tended to the bag

The  card read : 

They say distance will really show you how much your significant other means to you. I found out the hard way that it's true. Before I met you I had the slightest idea as to what I wanted in a woman, because I didn't have a woman in my life at all, you know it seems men marry those like there mom's... and because I didn't have mine I didn't know what to look for. You, your the total opposite of my mother. Your there for your daughter, and your nephew who you love as he's your son.. I admire that.  A lot of women can't even stand up and raise there own, and here you are raising someone else's. My mother was one of those women who couldn't raise her own. Your smart, you may not realize it but your smarter than me, and I love that. You are beautiful, I don't have to tell you that Railin. I want to be with you all the time because I don't want anyone to look at you and think your single, I mean now you are, IM sorry one million times over for how I hurt you, how I hurt us, our family. I know this necklace and bracelet won't mean much considering you can buy these things for yourself, I just want to give you something I know you'd like on your 19th birthday.

That was definitely a tear jerker.. I couldn't help the welling of my tears in my eyes. I pulled out two boxes, one that held a necklace and on the back it had Jojo and Krei's names. The bracelet was just a regular Tiffany bracelet. There was another box even tho he only mentioned two.

The smallest box held a ring inside the ring the words I love you were engraved. I tried it on and it fit perfectly. Except Rod fitting into my life perfectly, just didn't seem to thrilling anymore.

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What do you guys think I should do next?