In life everything is cyclic. You meet people, you hang out, you think they are your friends and suddenly they are all gone from your life. You meet people again, prove yourself wrong by believing that this time things were different, but then they leave you again.
You live with the idea that you are free, but in fact life has trapped you pretty well. You think you choose what you want to do and what you will be but you just don't. You can't run away from certain things and certain desires. But you just pretend that you are on command of everything so that you will live peacefully.
I am stuck in this emotionless cycle. I feel sad and betrayed by those who ever crossed my life and promised me they would stay. But than again people make empty promises every fucking second just because they can't face the sadness that shines in the other people's eyes. So I shouldn't feel sad and that's when I realized that in fact I am not sad, I am empty and lifeless.
Ashton was right though. It has been a week since our little encounter that turned out to be more than just small talk, fake happy smiles and '' I am to lazy to go home'' sleepovers.
His words keep on repeating in my head. Like if I couldn't just get them out. Like if they were sinking in my skin and floating through my blood vessels. Like if, slowly, they were becoming a part of me.
Because Ashton was right, he always was. He was wise, too wise for such a young fella.
As I am walking down the street to go to the old starbucks where we used to hang out I realize that the street is bigger than I remembered. We used to walk down this street everyday after school. I used to cross this street with Luke and we used to talk about so many stupid things.
I remember we used to imagine how some families were just by how their houses looked like. I remember there was a house, in the end of the street, near to the starbucks store, that used to be our favorite. It was plain white and big. It was a two floor house with big windows and a huge garden. I remember the owners used to leave the curtains open so we could see how their living room was and we were amazed by it. It had a huge black piano and at least 10 guitars hanging on the wall.
We used to imagine how cool that couple would be. He was probably some rock star, with blonde hair and dark clothes that matched his dark big eyes. And she, well she was surely a beautiful woman. Medium length hair, with some waves in a light brown color, hazel eyes and small delicate hands that would play beautiful melodies on her black piano every night. He would come home and his mood would light up immediately has he heard the sound of his wife playing. She would kiss him once their eyes met and they would have dinner. After that they would have rough sex while showering together because he couldn't just contain himself. She always looked so sexy and desirable in his eyes, how could he deny such a beautiful goddess?
Later we found out that this wasn't quite the truth. He was just a lonely music teacher that had a lot of money to spend and no one to love.
Perhaps, our little imagined romance was just what we wanted for ourselves. Maybe that was what we were craving back on those days. Or maybe we were just to young to realize that life is not an ocean of roses.
Well, after reaching starbucks we would hang with the boys and when there wasn't anything fun to do there we would go to one of the boys houses and just hang out there until it was dinner time.
Time flies and the ordinary turns into a memory of a past tense action that wont ever come back to you. It's gone. Today will fade in seconds. Yesterday is a long lost memory. And god only knows what tomorrow will bring.
There's a warm breeze in the air, we are in the middle October and you can already feel the summer weather kicking in. We are in Australia after all. If I was in New York it probably would be either raining like hell or snowing. Everything would be either wet or white and I can't figure out what I would like the most. The warm cold that keeps you lazy and holding a mug of hot chocolate while watching an old movie or the comfort sound of the rain drops hitting your window.
Sometimes I wonder how my life would have been if I had never left New York. I would probably be a really spoiled kid. I would have a tall boyfriend and a medium size mansion that we would be sharing. Maybe I would be planning a weeding at such an early age because we surely would be meant to be. Him with his beautiful look and charming manners. Nice car and white smile, whiter than the snow. A potential CEO of an important company. I would have probably accepted Julliard's offer and I would be studying music at the moment. I would wear designer clothes and black high heels. I would curl my hair and cover my face with makeup because there's nothing more pretty than a beautifully painted masterpiece.
But somehow I am glad I wear black overalls and old worn converse. I feel honored to be the owner of such a beautiful sun burned hair. I am glad I am just not the girl I was born to be. Or maybe I wish I could be a mixture of both but, since I can't, I just live pretending I like this version of me better.
As I made my way in starbucks I was greeted by an amazingly bright shade of pink and lilac hair, an amazingly tanned body and and all too familiar blonde guy. I wish I could have turn on my heels and run, too bad they had already spotted me and were running angrily towards me.
YOU ARE READING
The Perks Of Being Lua
Fanfic;Perhaps some people are meant to be and some things are meant to happen. Perhaps the sun will still shine and Lua (the moon) will bright our nights.
