Kissing Scars

Ch: 10 Still Hurting Today

In loving memory this book is dedicated to:

Michelle, October 4, 1979-November 18, 2005
And
Wayne, December 15, 1948-November 23, 2015
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Jay's P.O.V.

I wake up knowing exactly what day it is. It has been 3 weeks since my night out with Roxy and Nicky. They kept me really well distracted for most of this week... but that doesn't change how I feel about today. It's just as painful as the first year. Five years and it doesn't get any easier.

It's the anniversary of my dad's death. I don't want to go to school today. I want to stay home and mope by myself. Of course though I have to go.

I slip on a pair of black skinny jeans and a black hoodie. I put by hair up in a messy ponytail, but of course my side bangs fall. I don't even bother putting on makeup, I don't want it today. I grab my bag and walk lazily downstairs.

Mom is drinking a lot more than usual; like always on this day. She just gives me a drunken stare and continues to drink. She got up early, and even though she's been different since he died I still feel bad for her. She's still my mom and I love her. For that I'd forgive her for anything. My dad dieing sent my mom into a steep and sudden downfall. It broke her into pieces. That's why she is the way she is. I don't blame, her I could never blame her.

Eric though, I do blame. He krept up and took complete control over my mom and I. I hate him. He's hurt us and mom doesn't even realize it.

I get outside and start walking to school only thinking about my dad. Making the walk seem shorter than what it really is.

~~~~~~~~

"Jay! Jay!! Jay!!!" I turn around to the direction of my name being called to see Roxy, Nicky, Blake, Tate, Ben, and Hunter all watching me from their little group. I put on a fake smile and walk to them. Roxy yanks me into a hug first. "Are you def or something? I've been yelling your name ever since you walked past me like two minutes ago," Roxy asks dramatically.

"You have?" I am so confused I never even heard her.

"Yes, I have! What were you thinking about anyway? You had kinda a blank stare on your face. Are you okay?" she asked all at once.

"Yeah, no I'm-I'm fine really," I reassure them a bit shakily.

"Okay," she goes right back to her bubbly self at that.

I look at Blake and he is looking back at me with a sad expression, so he knows I was lying straight through my teeth. I hope he doesn't point it out to the rest of the group.

We walk together into the building. One of them were talking, but I'm in such a daze that I'm not even sure who. Blake gets next to me and whispers so only the two of us can here, "so what's wrong. I know you well enough to know you were lying back there." I stiffen not knowing if I should really tell him or not.

I decide to just go for it, someone needs to know at some point. "my dad died five years ago today," I'm straight forward with it, their's no reason to beat around the bush about it.

"Oh," is all he says.

"Yeah," I respond emotionless.

"I'm sorry," he finally whispers.

"Me too," I might have sounded rude but at this point it hurts too much for me to care.

Suddenly he pulls me into a hug, holding me to his chest with all his strength. I felt protected and that caused me to cry. Usually I don't let people see me cry, but Blake has seen me cry twice now. He's special like that. He knows how to get me to show him the side of me that no one else gets to see, or tell him the things no one else get to know. He makes me feel comfortable.

"Wow just look how pathetic she really is. Does someone miss her daddy?" Kate taunts, saying the last part in a baby voice. 'How does she know,' I thought. Chase, who is with her, laughs along with her and her friends. I look up to see Blake give him a dirty glare, making Chase stop laughing.

I pull away from him, knowing he's getting angrier by the second I grab his arm and walk away from them.

"I'm sorry about that," he tells me. I just shrug my shoulders in response.

"Thank you."

He furrows his brow, "for what?"

"For noticing. It might not have seemed like it helped because of them, but it did," I give a weak but sincere smile.

"Anytime," he smiles back.

We go to my locker first so I can get my stuff out then to his for him to obviously do the same. What else are we supposed to do at our lockers? Get in a portal to a magical world of rainbows and unicorns? No.

Anyways, he walks me to my class then goes off to his own.

I head to my seat and lay my head down on the desk thinking about my dad. He was once in the army then came back to work as a police officer. He was killed in a high speed chase on the job. Actually he was killed by one of the men pointing a gun out the window and shooting at the windshield making my dad unable to see and crash.

I try to think of the good memories instead of how he died. He got me into loving rock when I was little, so I thank him for that. He always accepted me for who I am and not what everyone else wanted me to be. One of my favorite things to do with him was watch movies, he always made time for that.

Soon I drift to sleep during class, only being woken up when the bell finally rang. It came as a surprise to me that no one tried to pull anything while I slept. 'Thank God,' is all that came to mind.

The rest of the day went by smoothly. Which again came as a surprise to me. I got home and my mom is passed out drunk with Eric beside her.

I simply took a shower, text Blake a little, then went to bed. I wasn't in the mood to do anything else.

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***Writers Note***

So guys I'm sorry it's short I wanted to do so much more with this chapter but then after my grandpa died and that was right after the day that marks 10 years of my moms passing that I just couldn't bring myself to continue it.

I finally did publish the first half of my short story "Baby it's Cold Outside" I really hope everyone will read it.