Dear Baby; I love you.
I'm in love with you, and I'm not sure how to escape it. It's pathetic, really, because I can't ever have you. Not after you made that decision; to love them, and not me. Not girls like me, at least. Him. You love him.
And I know it's stupid, but that fact makes my heart wrench. It makes tears come to my eyes. I'm going to turn out like my mother, aren't I? Just like her; married at first, and all of the sudden, he leaves her for something he can't control.
Cheating; confused. He was confused, and she got caught in the crossfire, and that kills me everyday, because I want to look my father in the eye, but most of the time I can't. All I can see is him with him; it haunts me. It hurts me. I don't want it to, but it disgusts me.
You don't disgust me though; you don't. You will never disgust me. I love you; I'll always love you.
I'm just caught, you know? I'm trapped in that little fantasy that maybe you'll feel something real for me. Someday, maybe you'll just look me right in the eyes and kiss me and not stop. That's what I dreamt about; stupid, right? Dreaming about that?
Thinking that maybe one day, if something in the world works out, you'll actually love me amorously? Not just as a friend. Not just as "You're perfect." I want it to be, "You're perfect. I'm perfect. We're perfect together."
Because you make me feel perfect every single time I get a text, or I see your face, or I see that you've thought of me in some way. And I'm not sure how to deal with it. I've told you some things that I've never told anyone else, and you took them in, and you never treated me any differently.
I'm not sure how to explain to you how much that means. This is your first letter, and it won't be the last. There's so much I need to say. So much. There's not enough time.
I love you.
YOU ARE READING
letters lament
Poetryfind a name, or a topic, and think about it. think about it really hard. we don't use the word hard in here, we use difficult, challenging. life is challenging.
