letters lament

Dear Wife

Ally, you're going to know this is about you the moment you read the title. We are married on facebook, after all. I remember when that happened; there was a lot of drama, and facebook marriages were a bit of a way to show others who was your best friend. Therefore, when we both got divorced in all the drama, we married each other. Silly, right? I like the fact that about seven months later, it's not about some stupid jealousy or a way to get back at the drama creators. It's just a way for us to declare our friendship now, because I love you and you love me, and we'll be friends late into our lives, surely. 

Our friendship had always been bludgeoned with a bunch of drama while we became close, but that's not where I'm going to start. Let's start with when you joined my little group. We have a facebook page, where we post a lot of things about that band we both love. It's quite stupid, really, but we post and talk to other fans, and it's a lot of fun. Maybe you'll read this twenty or more years from now, or maybe even less, and just laugh. We were always crazy, after all. 

Okay, so you joined this social networking page. We were writing a fanfiction, which is a trilogy and finished, a collaboration with me, two other frineds, and eventually you. When you joined the fanficiton, that's when we started to talk more. It was really strange, having such a connection with someone I'd only met once or twice. We wrote and talked about writing, and talked about our families and the band and so many other topics. It was hilarious, the strange subjects we got on to. I remember discussing something creepy about sex... not sure what, but it was really weird to talk about because neither of us were squeamish. We just sort of talked about it bluntly, because there's no point in being sheltered. 

In late October and November, our friendship blossomed. Texting, writing, talking; it grew and grew and grew. You came to my house a few times with our other friends as a group, and we would make jokes and slide into our own mini world for a while each time. I remember you came over my house for a few hours and we just sort of sat at the computer talking about random shit. It was really funny, and we watched some videos. When December rolled around and winter break came, I made you a present, and we'd created a group of four or five best friends, as our new social life. A week after, that was completely and utterly obliterated. 

The drama started, and I just want to say sorry for involving you, because the entire everything should've just been between her and I. Not Britt, and not you. Her and I. It was stupid drama, all revolving around her inability to trust and the inability of me to trust her, because she couldn't keep any secrets. It was quite foolish for me to trust her, but you never really punished me for it. I just want to thank you for that, because even now, I feel like people hate me for that whole fight, and think of me as a bitch. She certainly does. 

During that drama, you finally became one of my close confidants. I talked to you for hours, ranting and nearly breaking, and then shattering anyway, and you just sat there and exchanged advice and you listened, and then even with all of the hardship through your family in the last few months, you were still there. Even when you didn't talk to me much for a few weeks, or closed down because of everything, you're still here. The closing down wasn't in any way mean, and it wasn't ignorance, and I just really want you to know that you were still there. 

We fight in an arguing manner: little spats that don't really amount to anything. It's really funny to me actually, because we're both so stubborn that we continue to fight over the same damn things, like our stances on beliefs and other stuff. It's really nothing major, and I think that's why we get along. We have our differences, and they make us stronger as friends. 

Let's see, what else am I supposed to say here? I love you, Ally. I really do, and I like that I call you Ally when not many other people do? Alexis and Nick call you Allyson a lot, and I really just like calling you Ally. It's like you're a different person then; you're my wife and my best friend and just Ally when you're around me and that doesn't make sense but who the fuck cares you're my sister. 

I love you dumbass? 

-Lex